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And another.
Four. Four gunshots that pierced his skin and caused him pain. Four times someone tried to steal him before I even had the chance to know how amazing he is.
Pulling in a slow breath, hoping it will temper the anger making my trigger finger twitchy, I ask, “Is that all of them?”
Again, Maddox nods, but this time he offers up an explanation. “I was shot protecting Savannah and her sister over the winter. We were ambushed, and since I was the one who went first, I took the brunt of it.”
I force in another shaky breath, this one struggling to pass around the lump in my throat and the tightness in my chest. “She didn’t tell me.”
Maddox brings a hand to my face, smoothing back a little of the hair that’s worked free of my bun. “She probably didn’t want to tell you someone you’d recently met was shot when she wastrying to rescue a woman from an abusive situation. It would have hit a little close to home, and you’d already been through so much.”
Surprisingly, a small smile lifts my lips. “Seems like Savannah was trying to protect me the same way I was trying to protect her.”
Maddox’s fingers trace the side of my face, his eyes holding mine. “I guess that means she’ll have to forgive you for holding back on her.”
I swallow, deciding to push my luck. “I’m not the only one who was holding out though, was I?”
My eyes fall to the scar on his shoulder. Leaning forward, I press my lips against his warm skin. It’s the first time I’ve been able to do more than kiss his mouth, and when he doesn’t stop me, I decide to keep going. I move to the next healed injury. It’s right alongside his collarbone, and I brush my lips over it, breathing the scent of him into my lungs. Following the same path my hands took, I slide my way to the next scar, playing a sad game of connect the dots across Maddox’s chiseled chest.
The final gunshot went in right beneath his ribs, just below the bottom line of his vest. The scar it left behind almost hides in the ridge of his abs, and I drop to my knees so I can reach it more easily.
After pressing another kiss to his warm skin, my hands move to his belt, intention clear, as I work it open.
Or at least as I attempt to. Unfortunately, I’ve pushed my luck as far as it will go, and Maddox scoops me up from the floor, bringing me to my feet before urging me backward with the press of his body against mine.
I frown at him. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”
“You were touching me.” His hands come to grip my hips, holding tight as he eases me toward the bed.
I angle a brow at him. “You know what I mean.”
The back of my legs hit the mattress, but Maddox’s body continues pushing me and I tumble back.
Thanks to his arm snaking across my back, supporting most of my weight, the landing is soft and controlled. Instead of leaving me sprawled sideways at a weird angle, Maddox shifts me—still using just that one arm to manage my weight—until my head is on the pillows and his body hovers over mine. He completes the entire process without a single grunt or straining expression, even after taking two shots to the vest.
I’ve never been with someone as strong as Maddox. It should be unnerving, knowing he could hurt me if he wanted. Way worse than Trevor was capable of. But I could never be afraid of him. I know, with complete and unwavering certainty, Maddox would never, ever hurt me. It’s yet another way I feel like I know him so well. Understand him in a way that shouldn’t be possible so soon after meeting him.
But tonight it’s become clear I’m missing something important. Something big that will explain why he holds back the way he does at times like this.
“It’s complicated.” Maddox offers the quintessential non-answer, answer.
“Is it because you don’t want me to touch you?” I struggle to believe that’s true. He holds me close every night and practicallyalways has some part of him touching some part of me when we’re in close proximity.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me.” Maddox leans in, running his nose up the side of my neck as he breaths deep. “Unfortunately, I want you to touch me more than I’ve ever wanted anyone to touch me.”
“Oh.” My brain tries to make sense of what he’s telling me. “And that’s… bad?”
Maddox sighs, his breath warm against my skin. “It could be.” He lifts his head, eyes meeting mine. “I’m not the kind of person who does casual interactions, Audrey. I’m all-in or nothing, and I know not everyone works that way.” His fingers move through my hair, working my sagging bun loose as he continues. “And when I say all, I meanall.”
That… makes sense.
Maddox is filled with love. You can see it in how giving and attentive he is. He’s taken care of me better than anyone ever has.
But then there’s the other side of him. The one that’s all focus and intensity. Determination and single-mindedness.
I can see how the combination probably makes for a man who loves with his whole heart and soul and is completely and utterly committed. Willing to go to any length for that person.
Anylength.