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Footsteps behind me. Kyle. The others slow as they arrive, mute in the face of what’s happened.

“How can she be gone?” he asks. I can’t look at him. I can’t look at Jeremy. I shut my eyes instead. “You saved her. In thevillage. You saved her yesterday, how can she be gone today?”

It’s a child’s logic, and neither of us is a child, but the wrongness of it lies open like a wound.

“She should have let me die,” I say.

I can’t stay here. I walk. Past Jeremy, down the road, toward the water that wrinkles beyond the shore.

“Sara,” Mel calls.

“Let her go,” Anthony says. He still knows me better than anyone, I think.

The ground drops away down a hill; I follow it, follow the road. More switchbacks, an easy descent. The gate lies halfway down the hill, and I walk until I reach it. I sit facing it, facing the setting sun over the water. It is already half-set, and the light that spills from it is red-hued.

Two crows land on the gate. They ruffle their feathers, watch me with dark and glinting eyes.

And then I’m not*

INTERVIEW

SARA DONOGHUE

May 9, 2017

ASHFORD: Sara?

Sara idly traces the crook of her elbow with her fingers—the spot, hidden by her shirt, where the hash marks are written on her skin.

SARA: Mm.

ASHFORD: Sara, you said that you were going to tell us about Miranda.

SARA: That’s right. I can write it down, if you like. I think it will be easier that way. Can I do that? Can you add it to the rest?

ASHFORD: We can do that.

SARA: Good. Good. I want to tell you, you know.

ASHFORD: I know. This isn’t your fault, Sara.

SARA: Yes it is. Of course it is.

She reaches out for the pen and paper he offers, and begins to write. She writes only a few lines, and then she sits back. Ashford reaches out, a question on his face. She makes no objection, and he pulls the paper toward him. He looks down. His lips purse slightly, then flatten into a thin, hard line.

The door opens. Abby steps through.

ABBY: What did she say?

ASHFORD: We can discuss this outside.

She turns to Sara.

ABBY: What did she say to you?

She grabs the paper. Reads quickly. For an instant, she is completely still, eyes wide.

ASHFORD: Abby...