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Wasn’t it?

The cemetery,I thought, my heart squeezing.Our first time, he didn’t use anything. He just pulled out.That had been weeks ago. I’d been so distracted I hadn’t noticed until now that my period was late.That...that means...

My mother came toward me, grabbing me by my forearms. She was so tall; I stared up at her helplessly. “Darla, go and get a pregnancy test.”

“What? Why can’t you send a servant?”

“Because no one else can know about this,” she snapped. “Not until we’re certain.”

My veins itched with how fast my blood was racing through them. “Mom ...”

She shushed me, one hand grazing my cheek. It was a rare loving caress. “It’s fine. This is what we wanted.”

What you and Dad wanted,I thought, feeling sicker than ever. I didn’t know what I wanted. The idea of a baby with Thorne was ... exciting, in a way. I’d never dreamed of becoming a mother. Creating an heir had been a responsibility, something I could shrug off until we were ready.

But now I touched my belly and wondered how I’d do as a mom. Neither Thorne nor I had enjoyed a wonderful childhood. Perhaps, together, we could make up for our parents’ mistakes and do something beautiful ... somethingright.

Minutes later Darla returned with a test in hand. “Here,” she said, throwing it at me. I caught it clumsily. “I had one in my purse.” Mom shot a look at her, and she rolled her eyes. “What? Are you shocked I have sex?”

Ignoring them both, I turned and shut myself in the bathroom. I wasn’t feeling sick anymore, like my anxiety was so powerful there was no room for anything else. I wasn’t supposed to be scared of anything. That was what my damn wish had been meant to do.

I’m brave.

I’m bold.

I’m...I’m ready for this.Filling my lungs, I centered myself and followed the directions on the pregnancy test. The waiting was the worst part.

“Nova?” My mother knocked gently.

Holding the plastic indicator, I stared blankly at what it said. The next time she knocked, I opened the door halfway through her knuckles’ tapping. She startled, eyeing my face, reading my expression.

Darla was sitting on my bed. She tilted sideways, squinting. “Well? Verdict?”

“Pregnant,” my mom whispered, seeing it in my eyes.

Holding out the test to her, I angled it so she could see the two pink lines. “I guess you’re going to be a grandmother.”

There was a lot of action after that.

Mom forced me back into bed. Much to Darla’s dismay, she was sent on errands. It was clear my parents felt this news had to be controlled.

“But what about Thorne?” I asked, sitting up on my pillows. “Shouldn’t I let him know?”

My parents glanced at each other, then back to me. “Of course you should,” my dad said. “In person. This news is too big for a text message.”

“He’s right.” Mom leaned over to ease me back on the silken pillows. “It’s barely breakfast time. Why don’t you rest up here until you feel better?”

“I feel all right,” I said, plucking at the covers. “I’m not an invalid.”

“You’ve never been pregnant before,” Mom said, some of her normal, cool tone returning. “I have. Multiple times. You need to be off your feet while Darla goes and grabs you some food—”

“Comeon!” Darla groaned.

“Do it,” Dad growled.

My sister curled her plump upper lip in my direction. “What would little Miss Queen like to eat? Will you want me to feed it to you, too?”

“Hey, come on,” I said. My eyebrows lifted as I tried to appeal to her. “I’m not the one asking you to do this. And I don’t have an appetite, I can barely hold down water.”