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“Aren’t you?” I snap.

“Yes, I am, but you’re the one who gets bent out of shape because you can’t control everything.”

“I’m not—”

“Yes, you are. You’re failing to see the positive. And, baby, that’s all we have.”

“We need more information,” I huff. “I need to find the doctor again.” For whatever reason, my brain won’t allow me to accept this as a win. I know there is more we can do; more we can find to give us answers. I’m not prepared to sit on my ass and wait for three years.

Erin lets go of me and sits back. I see the look of disappointment in her eyes, but I ignore it.

What kind of mate would I be to accept a couple of blood tests as the be-all and end-all? A shitty one, and I can’t abide that. Standing, I swiftly swallow the remaining bourbon. Bending down, I drop a kiss on Erin’s forehead before heading out in search of the doctor.

Twenty-Nine

Icollar the doctor on his way to the bathroom. His bladder can wait a few minutes longer.

“We need to talk,” I bark, directing him to the stairs. Dr. Mendhi follows me silently. I wonder if he was expecting this. “Please sit,” I say, waving my hand at the single seat in the corner of my room. “There has to be more we can do.”

Dr. Mendhi eyes me warily. “What do you suggest?”

“Did you ever conduct blood tests on the humans that unsuccessfully mated with vampires?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Surely he thought of it.

“I’m tasked to help find a cure for the fallen—”

“And yet you failed to take their human mate into account?”

“This is the first time I have come across human and vampire blood conjoined.”

“Now you know, so shouldn’t you be testing their blood?”

“To what end? To satisfy your need for answers? All the humans that unsuccessfully mated with a vampire are now dead. Do you wish for me to exhume the bodies for you?”

“For me? This isn’t about me,” I defend.

“It absolutely is, Amelia. Even if I did what you are asking, what would it prove? It would tell us what we have just discovered. You will still have to wait for Erin to turn thirty, to be sure.”

“That’s not acceptable,” I growl.

“Maybe not, but that’s all we have. I cannot expedite the process, Amelia. We know you have bonded, that’s almost a certainty. So why is waiting three years to see if Erin changes so terrible?”

“Because…” Because what? If Erin was already a vampire, we would have to wait. There is no difference. When I think of Erin changing, I feel… wrong? Something doesn’t sit right about it. Is that why I want to know if it will happen? Am I scared she will change?

“You’re conflicted,” he says matter-of-factly.

“I don’t want to live without her,” I whisper, mostly to myself.

“But the idea of her changing is a problem?” The doctor understands me more than I like.

Gripping my hair in my hands, I stare at the floor. What’s going on with me? I should be jumping for joy that Erin and I mated. But all I feel is fear and anxiety. I thought it was because I could lose Erin, or that she would reject me. But maybe it’s because I might actually get to keep her. But at what cost?

“Can I give you some advice?” The doctor is sitting with his elbows on his knees, his chin resting on his fists. I nod. “Speak to Erin. And I mean, lay it all out there for her. I’m a doctor and I trust in science and what I can prove with data. But… after working with you and after talking with Barty and Anya, I believe there is more to the mating process. More than science can explain.”

“Meaning?”