Page 52 of Riptide

He studies me for a second longer, then wipes his hands on his jeans and leans back against the couch. “You sleep at all?”

“Some.”

He hums, not buying it. “What’s up?”

I drag a hand through my hair, keeping my eyes on Rosie as she bats at the giraffe again, like it’s personally wronged her. “I saw Foxx the other night.”

He nods slowly. “Yeah. Daph said something was going on with you and Professor Jones.”

I want to snort at theProfessor Jonesname because I don’t see him that way, but I hold it in.

He grins. “Don’t panic. She wasn’t being a weirdo about it. Just said you seemed lighter. That you’ve been...different.”

I haven’t really updated Daph that much since the day in Mug Life. I kinda told her we hooked up, but not much else. “Did she say how?”

“Just that she was freaked out that you were smiling so much.”

I pick off a piece of the paper around my sandwich and throw it at him. “She did not. I always smile.”

“I think she’s right. Except for today, you’re less smiley today.”

I chew on my bottom lip. “Foxx and I were together, and some surfing stuff came up.”

Hudson stays quiet, placing his sandwich on the coffee table.

“Didn’t get into everything,” I say, watching Rosie stretch one arm. “But I got close to something I haven’t said out loud in a long time. It didn’t even come up fully, but it was there. Right on the edge.”

I finally unwrap the sandwich, peeling the foil back halfway. I’m not sure I’ll eat it.

“That why you didn’t sleep?”

I nod once. “Same dream. I’m underwater and I can’t find him.”

Daphne knows about the nightmares too, but Hudson has always been open and supportive in a way that Daphne used to tell me about when she was pregnant. I believed her, but beingon the receiving end makes me really happy that she’s found someone like him.

“I thought I was past this part,” I admit as I tear off a piece of turkey with my fingers and set it back on the foil. “Coming home helped more than I expected it to. Therapy helps. But then I go and actually connect with someone and, suddenly, boom. Back under because I have to let them get to know me.”

“Sometimes the quiet lets the stuff you’ve been ignoring bubble up,” Hudson says, matter of fact. “You and Jared weren’t…?”

I glance at him. “No, we we’re just friends.”

Hudson takes another bite of his sandwich, chews thoughtfully, then says, “So…is it serious?”

I blink at him.

“With Foxx?” he clarifies.

“Oh. Uh…” I rub the back of my neck not sure what to admit when we’ve had a rocky start to whatever this is. “I don’t know yet. It feels…” I feel a little bad that I’m not admitting this to Daphne first, but here it goes… “It feels like I can breathe around him. Even when it’s hard.”

He nods again, like that makes perfect sense. “That sounds serious enough to me.”

I finally take a bite of my sandwich, and my stomach doesn’t completely reject it. That feels like progress too.

“Professor Jones has always been the biggest eye candy the math department has ever seen. You struck gold, Finny.”

“The whole fucking gold mine,” I mumble around a bite.

Rosie lets out a grunt just then, plants her feet, and before either of us can process what’s happening, she rolls. Like, full roll. Face-down, triumphant, legs kicking like she just completed an Olympic routine.