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“But a variation of this does?”
He ignored her.They weren’t near Colin’s office. Nowhere near where his team might be. “What, you just wait around for their phone calls?”
Again, he didn’t answer. This was too much. She didn’t understand anything about the world Colin lived in, and she lived in a world that was whacked. Criminal chapters across the country, a network of old ladies who could help free trafficked girls purchased with skimmedmoney from gun sales—and yet she didn’t understand how there was a group of doctors and nurses waiting for Delta group to call with their wounded.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” he finally asked.
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t. My people are organized but not in a way that we have resources that wait for us to call in random locations.”
He tipped his head back, rolling his lips into hismouth as though an understanding had dawned, and maybe he could tell she was a criminal and Colin was with Delta. Or maybe he saw past any assumption and simply thought her naïve.
The man gestured. “I’ve never seen these people before in my life. And if I ever see them again, I likely wouldn’t acknowledge them. I have one job, and it’s to play a specific role on a team. They each have a job anddo the same thing. That’s it. The job is done, and we go away, back to our real lives until called upon again. If ever.”
They stood in silence while Adelia tried to grasp the enormity of Delta team’s organization. Titan Group must be far larger than she knew. It wasn’t just that they could find a safe house in any location. It was that they could find resources and people across the country—hell,maybe even the world. “What do you do in real life? Can you tell me? Or would you?”
He crossed his arms and leaned a hip against the kitchen counter. “Why did you want to leave?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt anybody else. That bullet was meant for me.”
His jaw flexed. “That’s a bullshit answer.”
Surprised, she stepped back. “How do you know?”
“I’m an ambulance driver. A first responder,and because I’m first on the scene, I am also the first person someone sees when they’re going to die. It’s made me a great barometer of bullshit.”
Her eyes widened. She’d never thought about that job from that perspective. “Do people ask you if they’re going to die?”
He nodded.
“Do you lie?” Adelia asked. Wouldn’t that be the responsible, ethical thing to do, to give them happy thoughts beforethey went?
“No. I used to, and then I realized it wasn’t the right thing. If someone’s dying and you lie, they struggle against it. But if you know there’s no chance and they have only a few moments left, and they ask you if they’re going to make it…” The tightness near the corners of his eyes softened and his jaw gentled. “If you tell them the truth, that no, they won’t live, a calm comes overthem.”
She wondered if that was the moment of acceptance she had when waiting for Pops to kill her, and now, she knew death was coming for her, but she had assigned herself a single task to complete first. Would it be easier to slip away then? “What do they say?”
“I thought maybe I’d hear a list of lifelong regrets.”
What would hers be? She’d done as much as she could. Opened her arms as muchas she knew how. …Even today, tried to take off her armor she didn’t know that she owned.
“But no. They mostly want a hand to hold, someone to tell their greatest achievements, and almost always, they wanted to share about family or loved ones, even if they haven’t spoken with them in decades.”
Adelia’s throat ached with emotion. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Don’t make the mistake of leaving.”
A tear spilled over onto her cheek. “Okay.”
A woman pushed from the medical tent, stripping off her gloves and face cover, and dumping her scrubs and into the waiting bin. With a quick wave into the kitchen, she walked to the kitchen table, grabbed her coat and purse and left without saying another word.
“I guess her job was done then,” Adelia said.
“We’re wrapping up.” He gathered an orangeduffel bag from the kitchen island and repacked supplies.
One by one, the medical team filtered out until only what looked like a nurse stayed by Colin’s side. The surgeon stripped down to his street clothes and motioned for Adelia to step into the hallway. With every step closer, the logical, unfeeling part of her brain wanted to explain to the surgeon that Colin was safer without her.
Butthat wouldn’t be their life.
She glanced over her shoulder, and it was like a scene out of a movie. Then again, this wasn’t her life either. Still, she could stay. They could play house and pretend life was normal, that Mayhem didn’t exist, and life hadn’t given her the rocky start it had. Colin could heal in one of the bedrooms. It wasn’t an experience that had ever been on her bucket list.Then again, nothing like Colin had ever crossed her mind.
“He did excellent,” the surgeon said. “We’ll transfer him into a bedroom, and the nurse will review everything you need to know.”
Another person walked by, patting the doctor on the shoulder, and walked out as though they hadn’t just finished surgery.
“His medications will be delivered within an hour,” the surgeon continued. “He shoulddo great.”
This was the moment when she had to tell him that she wasn’t staying, that she had to run to save his life and hers, that playing house seemed like a dream come true, but Adelia wasn’t blessed enough to have one of those lives where fairy tales happened. The surgeon’s lips continued to move but she wanted to cry as nothing he said registered
“Do you understand?” His brow furrowed.
She blinked, wiping away another rogue tear before it slipped down her cheek. “I do.” Her voice cracked, terrified to do what was best for him. “I’ll keep an eye out for his meds.” She shook, praying this was the right decision. “He’ll do great.”