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The accident with the pool had brought us closer, no doubt about it.At least one good thing had come out of a living nightmare that brought up all of the pain of losing Josh.Travis’ kindness had even helped me understand how much blame I still placed on myself.But it still didn’t mean he felt anything for me.

What if he was only trying to be kind?What if all of that bonding wasn’t enough?For all I knew, he was already looking for a replacement for me.Otherwise, I couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t bring it up.

The water was hot, but I shivered when an ugly thought occurred to me.I wanted to push it away, to ignore it, but it only loomed larger as I rinsed out my shampoo.What if he didn’t want to say anything because he was worried we wouldn’t do this anymore if I knew my job was almost up?I wanted to believe he was better than that.I needed to, or how was I supposed to live with myself after not only throwing away all of my principles but letting him into my heart?Letting myself fall for him the way I fell for Sofia.

My thoughts were still in turmoil by the time we finished showering and toweled off in his bedroom.“You know, if Sofia is going to New York with you for the grand opening, she’ll need a coat,” I pointed out.“It’s cold in New York now, and she’s probably grown since last winter.”

“Good thinking.What would I do without you?”He winked at me as he passed me on the way into his dressing room.“I figure she can miss a couple of days of kindergarten for this.Colton and all the rest of them can’t wait to see her again.They offered to have us stay with them rather than at a hotel, but I’m on the fence.I like privacy at the end of the day.”

“Is that so?You didn’t care about your privacy last night when you pulled me in here.”

His eyes flashed when he turned back to grin.“And I made you come three times in theprivacyof my bedroom, didn’t I?You know what I mean, smartass.”

Amazing, the way I could joke when my heart was sinking around my feet.Just ask him, you idiot.It was right there on the tip of my tongue.Am I going with you?Will I still have a job?Are you planning on getting rid of me without ever warning me?

Facts were facts.I’d made more than enough money to get a place somewhere and support myself for at least a handful of months before I would need to start earning a living again.But there was one problem.

I didn’t want another job.

I wanted to stay here…

… with them.

If only this were only about employment.That was the trickiest part.I couldn’t untangle the personal and the professional.The physical and the logical.Because I never should’ve slept with him in the first place.But I had, and there was no running away from reality.

There was also no running away from everything I had to do today.We would have Thanksgiving dinner here at the house—Mom and Dad had invited me home the way they did every year, and I might have considered accepting if I wasn’t worried that my time with Sofia was running short.I would make dinner for the three of us with Sofia’s help, and I wanted to get out to the store to pick up some of what I would need.

I laughed to myself on the way to my room to get dressed, remembering how shocked I was when Travis suggested we order a prepared meal from a restaurant.As far as I was concerned, half the fun of Thanksgiving was putting time and love into the food.

While he had a breakfast meeting before heading into the office to catch up on work, Sofia and I went to the supermarket.When she wasn’t angling for some way to score extra treats, she was the ideal companion, oohing and aahing over the giant turkeys and asking a hundred questions.

“What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?”I asked.Not that she had many Thanksgivings under her belt, but they had been talking about the holiday at school lately.

“Pumpkin pie,” she replied, maybe half a second after I asked the question.Locked and loaded with an answer.“We need whipped cream!”

“That sounds like a good idea.”We talked about making pumpkin place cards for the table, and she picked out three small decorative pumpkins to add to the cart.

“You know what comes after Thanksgiving?”Her hazel eyes sparkled up at me.

“December?”I guessed, holding her hand and steering the cart with the other.An older woman overheard us in passing and chuckled.

“Yeeeah,” Sofia sighed.“But what holiday?”

I pursed my lips and pretended to think about it while she groaned and huffed.“You’ll have to remind me,” I concluded with a shrug.

“Christmas!Santa Claus!Will you help me write my list for him?”

I wanted to crumple up in a ball on the floor, right in the middle of the cereal aisle.“Of course,” I agreed because what else was I supposed to say?It depends on whether or not I’m still around?Your father hasn’t given me the first clue whether I’m going to have a job after the first of next month?A contract was a contract.He was a businessman.

But it still didn’t make any sense.It didn’t feel right.We were more than a boss and a nanny.I was making Thanksgiving dinner for the three of us, for God’s sake!I was more than an employee.

Everything looked different by the time we got back to the house, where Sofia ate lunch at the counter.I put away the groceries and made up a list of anything else I needed.I would wait a few days before buying the produce since it was only Saturday.The biggest turkey I could find was now defrosting in the refrigerator.Travis had talked about living on turkey sandwiches for a few days after Thanksgiving, so I wanted to be sure it would be enough.

As I made the list, my thoughts kept drifting off.What was wrong with me?There was a lot on the line here.I needed to know if I would have a job next month and if he wanted me to work with a new nanny to get her up to speed on Sofia’s routines.She was what mattered in all of this.

Whatever happened, it would be for the best.Everything always turned out for the best.

Strange, but that was getting harder to believe.