Page 71
Story: Relinquishing Control
Natalia’s energy was a breached alarm blaring. Warning intruders to keep out or pay the consequences. Sam took a deep breath and plunged in headfirst.
“I’m not sure how to talk about this?—”
“My work? Don’t worry, you don’t?—”
“Natalia,” Sam’s voice was small and pleading. “Don’t?—”
“Don’t what?” Natalia snapped, harsh and wild, the way a tiger caught in a trap might swipe and hiss. It was fear, not anger, Sam was almost sure. “I told you an unfortunate fact about my past. You don’t have to act like I’m suddenly fragile. I don’t need your concern.”
“And look at that. You have it anyway.” Sam inched closer. “Natalia?—”
“Don’t say my name like that,” Natalia snapped again, softer this time. “Don’t say my name like suddenly I make so much sense to you. Like I’m some pathetic?—”
“You could never be pathetic, Natalia.” Sam reached out and rested her hand above her knee, hitting the laptop she was using like a shield. “What you did?—”
“If you call me any variation of brave, resilient, or inspiring, Samantha Reyes, I’m going to walk out that door and never speak to you again.”
The threat made Sam want to smile. Decoding her intent, she guessed that Natalia was telling her that hope was not lost, but she better tread lightly. She didn’t want to be pushed, and Sam didn’t want her to bend so hard she’d break.
“I won’t call you any of those things,” Sam said gently. “But I hope you know that what happened to you doesn’t define you. It doesn’t change how I see you.”
Natalia’s jaw clenched, eyes drifting to her laptop screen. It didn’t surprise Sam that after their conversation, she’d bury herself in something she understood. Something staunchly in her domain. Work.
“And I won’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through, either.” She squeezed her leg before pulling away. “But I’m here for you. As a friend, a confidant, whatever you need.” She eased to her feet.
“I don’t need anything,” she replied, but her tone wavered and she didn’t meet Sam’s eyes.
“You once told me that people see what they want to see. But I see you, Natalia. Not some idealized version. All I want is for you to feel safe and cared for. However long it takes.”
Natalia’s expression remained inscrutable. But she gave a small nod, the closest to acquiescence Sam could hope for.
At the door, Sam whispered, “Good night,” and let herself out. A microscopic part of her hoped that Natalia would call out to her. Tell her not to leave. She didn’t.
Back on the couch, she was unsettled but hopeful. Natalia had opened up more than ever before. There were no guarantees, but it was progress.
As Sam drifted off, images of a young, vulnerable Natalia still haunted her. But she also pictured the strong woman reclaiming her power. If anyone could rewrite her story, Sam believed it was Natalia. A happy ending felt possible, if Natalia could trust again. Sam could only hope she’d be part of it.
CHAPTER 39
It couldn’t be called waking up before the sun when Natalia hadn’t actually slept yet, but the moment the sky lightened a fraction, she was out of bed and getting dressed.
Instead of waking Samantha up with the aroma of brewing coffee, she slipped out into the breezy dawn without making a sound. She didn’t care about her rest. She told herself that she didn’t want another touchy-feely attempt at bullshit bonding.
Hands in the pockets of her white linen blazer, she started for the main building at the front of the resort. Accosted by singing birds and fresh, salty air, Natalia walked faster.
Natalia had never felt more naked while being completely dressed. She couldn’t get the sound of Samantha’s voice out of her head. Couldn’t shut out the soft warmth of her dark brown eyes.
If she didn’t know better, she would believe Samantha really meant what she said. That she understood just how unsuitable for a relationship she was, but wanted her anyway.
It was a stupid thought, and Natalia walked faster so it wouldn’t catch up to her and make her doubt herself. She already regretted having said so much. Her plan had backfired so spectacularly, she could hardly believe it.
Desperate to shake the sensation of Samantha having crawled under her skin, Natalia nearly broke into a sprint. By the time she got to the door and yanked it open, her heart was pounding and her breaths were coming too fast.
Natalia stepped into the lobby, making a beeline for the breakfast bar set up along the back wall. She grabbed a cup and filled it with dark, fragrant coffee, willing the caffeine to sharpen her frazzled mind.
While she looked for honey to use in her coffee, Natalia sensed figures approaching in her periphery. She looked up to see Samantha’s parents smiling broadly as they closed the distance.
Oh, for the love of fuck. What kind of karma is this?
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