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“Because she’s friends with Vivian.” I punched the elevator button. “And she gets the same amusement out of torturing me.”
The elevator doors dinged open, and I hurried inside, pressing the button for the ground floor the second we entered.
“Are you sure?” Pierre asked. In the full, bright elevator lighting, his face looked even worse than it had when I saw him lying bloody on the ground in the middle of that crowd of students. “I mean, she seems really nice when I talk to her. She’s actually pretty sweet. I was going to tell you about her, I swear, but …”
“But then I agreed to fuck you?” I glared at him. “So, which one of us was the second option?”
Pierre shook his head. “It’s not like that, Kat. It’s just—”
“So, I’m not allowed to go fuck around, but you are?” I said. “And she’s okay with that?”
I didn’t care if he was in love with Vivian’s best friend. If that’s what he wanted, that’s what he wanted. Who knew, maybe the bitch had changed. But I needed to set the record straight with him.
“Just to be clear,” I said, keeping my attention glued to the screen counting down the floor numbers, “she’s not who you think she is. I don’t know Luna well, but I do know that she’s buddies with Vivian. And I can’t let them get to you, too.”
As soon as the elevator doors opened, I stepped out without waiting for him.
“She was supposed to meet me here,” Pierre said, scurrying out behind me. The whole first floor of the library was empty, save for the kid at the reception desk. He tried to avert his gaze from us as we passed, and I almost felt bad for him. “That’s why I was there. Look, Kat, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry about everything.”
“It’s fine.”
He still didn’t tell me about Tommy, and where the fuck he went, why the fuck he abandoned me in his apartment after I told him his homework client nearly raped me.
Yeah, everything was fine. Just great.
I burst through the doors, and barely felt the cold night air when it hit me. My thoughts had shifted from Pierre’s deepest secrets to something more important.
Felix.
I just hoped he was okay, that he didn’t take it personally, despite the fact that everything Pierre did was personal.
And then again, I could imagine Felix saying that he deserved it. And maybe he’d be right.
One punch, versus years of humiliation.
Guess it wasn’t the most horrible thing to have done. I’d gotten my rage out though fucking him, fucking them all. Pierre got his chance to take it out on them through a raised fist. I couldn’t hold this against him.
“Hey,” I breathed, turning back to face him. I had been speed-walking away from the library as fast as possible, Pierre trailing behind like a puppy. He bumped right into me. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I said, shrugging. “I’m acting like a bitch and you don’t deserve it.”
Pierre’s lips fell into a sideways smirk, and I mirrored it, reaching up to ruffle his hair.
“Well, maybe a little,” I said, turning around to lead him back across the quad, as if I was the one who went to school here.
“I didn’t go to Tommy.”
I paused, and waited, keeping my gaze on the row of buildings in the distance, the city lights gleaming, not so far away as they seemed.
“When I walked out of the apartment,” he continued softly, coming to stand beside me, close enough for me to feel his warmth. He refrained from putting his arm around me. “I know what you think of me. That I’m unstable. Destructive, maybe. And you’re right.”
I looked at him. His cheeks were turning rosy in the harsh wind, and wisps of his hair blew in the air like loose feathers. He was beautiful.
“I am those things. But I’m trying to change, Kat.” He turned his face to mine, and then his hands were on my arms, holding me close. “I didn’t go to Tommy. I just … went out. Went to that fountain, and forced myself to think. I guess I just needed to be alone.”
His forehead was pressed against mine, and as he spoke, his breath curled up like smoke in the cold air. I didn’t mind. I breathed it in, savoring it.