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I do a quick emotional triage to see if that upsets me and find that it doesn’t. It appears that I no longer feel these things so deeply or personally. “That sounds terrible, Mel. That kind of loss must be devastating. I’m so happy you ended up with this little tank at the end of it all.”
We both glance at Luke and notice at the same time that his color is off. Mel immediately goes to him and checks his mouth, then pats his back firmly. She talks soothingly to him, but he isn’t breathing, and his face is turning darker, tears dripping from his eyes.
“Luke!” she cries. Other parents start to notice, and other children begin to wail. Mel pats him again and looks around the room. “What should I do?” she begs. “He’s choking. Call 911!”
Without pausing to think, I grab Luke and place him face down on my legs, then slap him sharply with the heel of my hand, right between his shoulder blades. Mel hovers at my side, shaking and crying. On the fourth blow, a big blob of half-chewed rice cake flies out of his mouth and goes splat on the floor. He immediately sucks in air and starts screaming, slamming his fists into my thighs. Mel grabs him up, strokes away his tears, and does that mom thing where she checks him over for damage.
“Is he okay?” one of the other mothers asks, clearly on the phone to 911. “They’re asking if he’s conscious.”
“Well, he’s yelling his head off, so I’d guess that’s a yes,” another quips in response. This information is relayed, along with a few details about if he stopped breathing completely and for how long. We’re told he’s probably fine now, and that because it only lasted a matter of seconds, his brain was not deprived of oxygen long enough to do any damage. The parent relays that we should take him to the ER if we have any concerns.
There’s a communal sigh of relief as Luke continues to demonstrate how powerful his lungs are, and one of the parents comes over to pat me on the back—a lot more gently than I did to poor Luke. “Well done, Miss Amber. That coulda got real nasty.”
Once she is sure her boy is okay, Melanie comes to me. My adrenaline levels are still high, and I barely notice as she takes hold of my hand and squeezes it. Her green eyes are shiny with tears. “Thank you, so much. You might have just saved his life. How did you know how to do that?”
“Um, this is kinda embarrassing, but I think I saw it on an episode ofGrey’s Anatomy… What can I say? I watch a lot of late-night television.”
She laughs and kisses the now much-calmer baby on his round cheeks. “Well, thank God you do, Amber. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you did. Some use I was, huh?”
“Seeing your own child choking would be enough to send anyone into a blind panic, Mel. But you’re very welcome.”
Seeing her snuggle her baby and close her eyes as she takes deep, relieved breaths, I feel a little glow of pride, and then a far less noble emotion takes its place.Try to hate me now, Nathan James.
ChapterForty-Four
AMBER
Mel ends up taking Luke to get checked out for peace of mind, and he’s given a clean bill of health. And wonder of wonders, about an hour after her update, I received a phone call from the Ice Man himself.
I almost didn’t answer when I saw his name. Something about Nathan always triggers me, makes me feel sick and anxious. Naturally, I cover that up by acting frostier than usual, and I am concerned that as Elijah and I try to navigate our new normal, I won’t be able to change that pattern of behavior.
“Nathan” was all I said when I answered. I hoped he didn’t hear the silent “go fuck yourself.”
“Amber,” he replied, equally cold. I definitely hear the silent “I hate you with every fiber of my being.” There was a pause, and cartoons played in the background. Either Nathan has become a fan ofBluey, or he was at home with Luke. That softened me up a little.
“Is he all right?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s great. Mel told me what happened, and I guess I just wanted to call and, uh, thank you?”
“Is that a question?”
“No. No it’s not. Thank you, Amber. Mel was a mess, and you looked after her too, in addition to Luke. I appreciate that. I know we’ve had our differences, and, well, thank you.”
I rolled my eyes. It was like pulling teeth.
“You’re welcome. The fact that we’ve ‘had our differences’ does not mean that I’d watch your child choke to death, Nathan.” I made a big effort to keep my tone calm. “Even I’m not that much of a monster.”
“I know you’re not a monster,” he said. “I just don’t think… Fuck, I’ve said what I wanted to say. Thank you again.”
“That’s okay. And, uh, thank you for calling.”
It was torture for both of us, and I was relieved when he hung up. I stared at the phone, shaking my head.
I have no idea if things between us will ever improve. I am the Ice Queen, and he is the Ice Man, and somehow we never seem able to play anything other than those roles when we’re around each other. I’m nervous about him finding out Elijah and I are reconciling. He still hasn’t told his family, and I’m making a valiant effort not to let that derail me. There’s been a lot going on what with Drake’s engagement, the Seoul deal, and Dalton going in for a series of tests on his heart. So far he’s been given the all-clear, but it’s a worrying time for them all. It wouldn’t help our long-term marital harmony if his dad dropped dead of shock because I was back on the scene.
That all happened this morning, and in the afternoon, I led a class for the older kids once school let out. I stayed a little longer to do a one-on-one session with Shawn, and now I’m home. At a dangerously loose end. My hands are idle, and I suspect the devil might be about to make use of them.
I’m supposed to be seeing Elijah tomorrow, but I don’t want to wait. He’s working at home in Manhattan, and I’m here in Brooklyn, and I want to be with him. Everything feels better when we’re together, and imagining the surprise on his face makes me smile. He’ll be leaving for Seoul soon, and I want to make the most of every minute we have together before then.