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I hoped the smile I gave her was convincing enough in its genuineness. Luckily, it seemed to appease both of my visitors. They extended an offer for me to join them for the midday meal – I had apparently been out of it for the past two and a half days and slept right through this morning – but I declined. I needed to gain my independence back, and that started right now. I could manage to get my own food. It was going to be a bland Nutri-Bar regardless, but I was capable to grabbing one for myself without an entourage of mother hens to make sure I actually ate it.

Starving myself wasn’t the issue, though with the way my stomach grumbled I realised that was what I had been doing, even if it was inadvertent. I would just have to keep a stash of Nutri-Bars on hand just in case. I wasn’t sure if I would get stuck in whatever that state had been again, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I’d figure out a way to deal with it if the need ever arose again.

I could do this.

The couple bode me farewell and left me to my own devices, shooting me one last concerned look before the door closed behind them and shut me away from the rest of the ship again. I took that as my cue to shake out the residual pins and needles that still continued to run up and down my extremities, though they were admittedly a lot less prominent than the day before. I must have been still for too long even after I’d snapped out of the haze.

I cleaned myself off in the bathroom and donned a jumpsuit that looked way too small for me, except when I put it on it sagged in places it shouldn’t have been sagging. I tried not to let it drag me back down into that dark place that latched on with sharp, deadly claws and taunted me with how much of a failure I was. Ireallyneeded to bulk up again, if only to feel more like myself rather than some weakling imposter.

Once I was presentable, I braced myself for leaving my room for the first time since arriving. The room was dark so stepping out into the brightly lithallway illuminated by vibrant fluorescent lights was a bit of a shock to my system, and I squinted my eyes, shielding them with my hands as I waited for them to adjust. People passed me by, eyeing me curiously as I stood there but it took less time than it normally would have for the light to stop stabbing at my eyeballs so painfully.

I lowered my hands and relaxed my eyelids, discovering that not only had I adjusted to the brightness faster than should have been possible, but I saw everything with more clarity than I was used to. Maybe it was because I had spent so long in the darkness, but even I didn’t believe that excuse. The Program had altered me, and I had a feeling this was a lasting effect.

I supposed I couldn’t complain about it too much. Sure, the torture I’d had to endure to create better senses wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t the worst side-effect I could have had to suffer through.

I hadn’t done much exploring of the ship so far, but it was easy enough to follow the signs towards the gym. It was on the bottom floor just above the engine room. The hum from the engines and the spinning magnets that created the artificial gravity vibrated softly through the floor like a delicate tickle drifting up into my body. It was a pleasant sensation, even if it was a little alarming to be so close to such dangerous and important machinery.

The floor itself was well-utilised. Exercise equipment was spread out throughout the floor and divided into separate areas with space as dividers. The ship wasn’t as large as The Carina, so there wasn’t as much space for other activities such as running or flying, but there were different machines and such to provide those exercises for those who needed them. The most interesting equipment for Drakferns to stretch their wings. It hooked them up to a sort of bungee contraption inside an augmented reality chamber that allowed them to pretend as though they were outside in a variety of different environments. I could already visualise Cadmus enjoying his time in there, though it was currently occupied by another Drakfern, this one bright red and vaguely familiar.

Then it hit me.

It was Corporal Gwym.

I spun on my heel, ready to run back to my room and hide forever, but I paused before I could take another step. I wasn’t a coward. I didn’t need to hide from my old instructor, afraid of what he thought of how much I’dwasted away this past solar. But I didn’t want to be ashamed. I was here to build it back up, and if anyone thought less of me for losing the muscle mass then screw them. I’d worked hard for it before, I could andwoulddo it again.

My emaciated state wasn’t a sign of weakness, and I refused to letthemwin by making it so. I was a survivor, damn it, and I was free.

I turned back around and marched right up to the weights, surveying what was available with my hands on my hips and my eyes keen. I ignored everyone else around me, their presence unimportant in my own journey. This was about me, not them.

I decided it was best to just bite the bullet and start from scratch. I hoped I wasn’t down at the lowest weight but there was no way to know where I currently sat until I tried, so I picked up two of the smallest hand weights and felt them out.

My breath left me in a whoosh of relieve to discover that they were still too light and I wasn’t as far gone as I’d feared. Putting them back and picking up the next size up incurred the same result, so I repeated the process until I found ones that suited me. I knew I wouldn’t be lifting the same as before, and I wasn’t by any means, but my confidence and my hope was bolstered by the discovery I hadn’t been reduced to nothing. Somehow, I had retained some of my strength, and that knowledge felt better than I could have ever dared to imagine.

Just as I settled in to start my reps, a voice called my name. I placed the weights at my feet and turned to greet the one woman I still wasn’t sure I knew how to interact with, a curious lift to my eyebrows as she drew closer.

‘Hey,’ I said, trying not to pay attention to the way the jumpsuit clung and moulded to her feminine figure but failing spectacularly. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed the ample protrusions on her chest or the prominent dip in her toned waist.

‘Hey,’ she replied right back, the single word holding back so many emotions that I wasn’t sure either one of us was particularly eager to lay out yet.

‘What’s up?’ I promoted.

‘I’m holding a meeting in the infirmary. You should be there.’

I frowned, unsure I liked where this was going but deciding to hear her out. ‘What about?’

‘There are some things I need to discuss with those who were subject to The Program’s experiments. I’ll explain everything when everyone’s there, but unfortunately this is a conversation that can no longer be avoided.’

‘Right,’ I said on a sigh, already knowing I wasn’t getting out of this – whatever it was, and eyes the weights mournfully. ‘I’ll just sort myself out and be right there.’

‘No rush. I need to round up the others. The meeting will start in a turn, so you have time to finish your set and freshen up, grab something to eat if you haven’t already.’

‘Wait, the others?’ I asked, suddenly nervous that all of our trauma was about to be aired out in front of an audience, and also mentally kicking myself for forgetting to eat before I started a workout. My stomach chose that moment to protest its emptiness, growling loud and long.

She gave me a knowing look but followed it up with a reassuring smile that actually settled my overactive nerves. ‘Just those involved.’

‘Who?’ I asked, getting the sense she was talking about more than just me and Adara.

‘You, Addy, Cadmus and Henrik.’