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Chapter Eleven

Liam

I could feel it crawling again, slithering around my neck. Its scales tickled as he shifted close to my ear. I rubbed at the skin there and the serpent hissed.

He was always crawling all over, looking for a chink, an easy place to slip inside. “Stop it,” I said.

Outside, the sun was going down. Randy and Norah hadn’t come back yet, and I’d been pacing back and forth ever since they called to say Randy had picked her up from the shop. Jealousy, rage, fear. All those things I’d never felt before when it came to Norah and any one of the guys surged through me. It was irrational and scary.

The snake laughed. That sounded insane. I knew it did, but I could hear it in the back of my mind. It was mocking me. It showed me images of Randy and Norah, even Norah and Travis. I was pretty sure the ones with Norah and Travis hadn’t even occurred yet, but still the same bile rose to my throat. The images of Randy and Norah used to make me hot. Horny. Used to make me want to jump right into bed with them. But not now. Fury threatened just under the surface, and still, the fucking snake slithered down my back and circled around my waist.

I was getting tired. Too tired. If I couldn’t keep this thing under control, I was going to have to leave. I wouldn’t be the reason I hurt someone. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt one of them. I’d already hurt Norah though, I reminded myself. Every time I dismissed her, I saw her face fall even further. It was getting to the point where she even approached me tentatively, not a hint of a smile anywhere on her face. I’d done that to her.

She doesn’t really love you.

“Stop it!”

I smacked my head several times with my palm. He’d started to talk to me recently, his voice hissing in my brain. I sat on the edge of the bed and held my head in my hands. I was strong enough. I could hold on until we found a way out of this. That’s what they were doing. That’s what Norah said they were doing, anyway, trying to help me.

They just left to find a place to fuck away from you. They’re done with you.

“That’s not true,” I said, shaking my head.

They don’t want you anymore.

“No!”

None of that was true, I tried to tell myself. This was Randy and Norah we were talking about here. I was closer to them than I was to anyone. Add Travis and Gabe and we were a family. One slightly dysfunctional family who was supposed to help rid the world of evil, but that was what we were. We were Enforcers. We were also all in love with the same girl, and we didn’t care. She’d brought us together, deepening our relationships with one another.

The serpent showed me a picture of Travis doing Norah from behind. Her head thrown back in passion. Her breasts bounced up and down as he tugged her hair back, slamming into her again and again and again. They were hot and sweaty, and she loved every second of it.

“I don’t care.”

How could you not? She wants others, too. And look at you compared to them. She doesn’t want you, Liam. She just feels sorry for you. You’re the outsider. You always have been. You’ve never fit in anywhere, and you certainly don’t belong here either.

“That’s not true.”

Isn’t it? Gabe plays soccer. Randy is built, practically a bodybuilder. And Travis, he has that cocky asshole thing going for him. What about you? You’re nothing.

“I’m smart.”

The laughter rose in my head again, blocking everything else out. It laughed and laughed and laughed until I was rocking on the bed. It mocked me.

No girl wants the smart guy. They’ve never wanted you in the past. You think Norah’s that special that she’s the only person to have ever wanted you in your entire life? Your own parents didn’t even want you, Liam. They gave you up. They had everything, and they didn’t want you to have any of it, so they adopted you out like a lost puppy.

I ran my hands through my hair and pulled at the ends. Rationally, I knew what this was. This was the familiar trying to get to me, trying to make me emotionally unstable so he could find his way in. I thought I’d be able to fight it, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to fight the damn thing. Maybe I was never destined to be the hero.

The hero? Ha. You’re not even in the novel. You’re the guy they cut from the story because you ruin everything. You’re sad.

My head started to pound. I grabbed my phone and pressed play on the music player, jamming the earbuds into my ears. This was the only thing that seemed to quiet the voice, so I could get some time to myself.

My name is Liam. I’m an Enforcer for the Order of the Akasha. I’m in love with a girl named Norah, and she…well, she at least likes me back. I have three of the best guy friends I could ever ask for. We share the same girl. I’m not jealous. I am not mad. I am not filled with rage.

Anything else was the familiar talking.

I said that again and again in my head, but this was getting old. I needed to come clean with them about what was happening to me. About how the familiar was too much. The fury was starting to take over. I didn’t like the awful thoughts in my head. At first, I could combat them, but not anymore. He wanted me to hurt people, and I would never do that. But to make sure I wouldn’t, I might have to leave. I could do that for them. I would need to because now that I’d finally found the family I’d always wanted, there was no way I was giving them up, even if I had to leave to do it.

My name is Liam…