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“You have a serious face over there,” Lacey said as we ate dinner and swatted at mosquitoes. Even with the bug problems, the night was beautiful and the yard was peaceful with the burble of the fountain on one side of the pond.

“Just thinking,” I said.

“About anything in particular?” she asked, and I decided it was time to talk about this, as much as I didn’t want to. Avoiding it was just going to drag out the inevitable.

“This thing between us,” I said, putting down my fork and setting my plate on the little table beside my chair.

Lacey let out a long breath. “I wondered when one of us was going to bring that up.” Our eyes met and I felt like I was going to cry for a moment, but I swallowed that feeling and did my best to ignore it.

“You’re going back to New Hampshire. I’m going back to Boston. I know neither of us has brought up a relationship or anything, but I’m just wondering what your expectations are.”

Lacey snorted. “You sound like you’re negotiating a contract.”

I made a sound of frustration. “Be serious, Lacey. We need to talk about this.”

She nodded, looking down at her hands for a moment. “I know. I just don’t want to.”

“Neither do I,” I said.

Her eyes met mine and I saw a flash of pain before she seemed to cover it up as quickly as she could.

“What do you want, Gwen? Out of this?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, which was the absolute truth at this moment.

“Me neither.”

We were getting nowhere.

“How about this?” she said, leaning over in her chair. “We do what feels good for both of us and just…ignore everything else?”

How did that sound? It sounded like living in denial. But what choice did we have?

“You want to continue…whatever this is?”

“Yes, Gwen, I want to continue ‘whatever this is.’ If you do,” she said, using her fingers to make air quotes.

I did. I really fucking did. For a moment, I pictured getting up and walking away from her and trying to go back to her just being my client.

Absolutely fucking not.

“I do,” I said.

Lacey shrugged. “Then we’ll deal with what happens later, later.”

Every part of me knew this was an absolute recipe for disaster and I knew I was going to look back on this moment and kick myself, but right now, I didn’t care. I’d never been the reckless girl. The one who threw caution to the wind. That had always been my sister. Maybe being around her so much had her rubbing off on me.

This felt like diving off a cliff without a parachute.

“We’ll deal with it later,” I agreed.

“Good,” Lacey said, clearly relieved. “Should we seal that with a kiss?”

I smiled and ignored my heart thrashing with panic in my chest. “Absolutely.”

She leaned over and kissed me softly, tasting of my future heartbreak. I kissed her back until she made me forget everything else.

Chapter Fifteen