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“That’s very good. And your Brigantes neighbors?”

“Ystradwel is quiet. I hear nothing from the Setantii. The Carvetti pilfer my cattle and sheep whenever they get the chance. I have hung more than one Carvetti man already this year. Venu and I have exchanged messengers, coming to terms regarding the problem. It has been enough to prevent us exchanging blades.”

“I hope you will let me intervene if it ever comes to that.”

“Of course.”

“Is there anything else the matter? You said you are here but briefly.”

“I… I am… I will… I am passing through to Isurium Brigantum.”

I paused, my stomach clenching oddly. “Oh?” I asked, trying to sound at ease. It was not a secret that Eddin had visited LadyAmma on several occasions in the years since my daughters’ deaths. Since nothing had ever come of it, I had put all thoughts of the matter aside. But now…

“Carti,” Eddin said, setting his drink and break aside. “I… I don’t know how to go about this. Not so long ago, in this very fort, I told you things that were better left unsaid.”

“Eddin, you don’t?—”

“No, I must. I…” he said then sighed deeply. “I am ashamed of myself. I swore to you that I would love no other but you until the day I died. And if I must confess it now, I do love you still, Cartimandua. As much as flowers love the rain and sunshine. You will always be in my heart, but you have a life with Cormag. I want this for you. I thought I would be content to be on my own, to love you from afar, but then, I…rather, unexpectedly, I…”

“You fell in love with Amma.”

Eddin stared at me. “You know?”

I smiled lightly and laced my fingers together so Eddin would not see my hands shake. Willing myself to be still, I asked, “You ride to ask for her hand?”

“Yes. I would marry her at Beltane.”

For a moment, I felt like I could not breathe. “You do not need my approval, Eddin.”

“No, but I wanted to tell you myself. I believe—no, I know—she will agree. I would like to take her back to Barrow and wed in a small ceremony with just the druids. She is a Brigantes lady. As such, I would have your approval. But as your friend, I need your blessing, Carti.”

“More than anything, I wish you to be happy, Eddin. I love you, my friend. I would see you with a wife and children, and Lady Amma is beautiful, wise, and talented. It is a good match.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

Eddin rose. “Then I will ride south now, with your blessing.”

“You have it.”

“Thank you, Carti,” Eddin said excitedly then rose to go. He took two steps to the door then paused, came back, kissed me on the cheek, adding, “Thank you,” once more. He grabbed the rest of his bread, then departed.

I sat staring in his wake, my mind tripping over itself as my thoughts came in a flurry. I listened to the commotion outside and a few minutes later, the sound of horses as Eddin rode off.

To wed.

I closed my eyes, feeling a pinch of pain in my temples.

I am happy for him.

I am.

I really am.

But if I was, why did my heart carry so much sorrow?

CHAPTER 26