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Knox wraps his arm around me and it’s only then that I realize how inappropriately we’re all dressed for a hospital. My cream silk nightgown is covered in dirt and soot, though thankfully I’m not completely exposed since Rider slung his leather jacket over my shoulders before I climbed into the ambulance. The soft leather hugs itself close to me, keeping me warm and feeling safe. It smells of him, comforting and masculine. My bare feet are filthy and grazed. Knox is similarly underdressed in only a pair of sweatpants that are covered in blood that isn’t his own.

We sit there in silence, unable to find the words to express our concern for our friends and our disbelief over what’shappened. I know I need to tell them what I know, but the words are trapped in my throat.

I don’t know how much time has passed before a nurse approaches us. She looks familiar and I realize that I know her from my prenatal appointments. “Excuse me, I thought you might like to get cleaned up a bit?” she says, holding out some hospital scrubs and slippers. “I’d like to give you both a check over, just to treat your cuts,” she adds, nodding to mine and Knox’s feet.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Knox says. “I can clean them up and bandage them myself.”

“Me too.”

“Not a chance,” he insists with a shake of his head.

The nurse smiles approvingly at him before turning her attention to me. “Given your condition, I think we should give you a proper check-over,” she says, nodding to my visible bump. “Just to be safe, you’ve had quite the shock.”

I feel like the world’s worst mother. How did it not occur to me that all of this stress could have harmed the baby? My hand flies to my stomach protectively and I nod. “Right, yes, of course.” I push myself to my feet with some difficulty, my sore feet protesting.

“Come with me then, ma’am.”

Both Knox and Rider both get up to follow and the nurse seems a little surprised by this. “They’re coming with me,” I say, my voice brokering no disagreement.

After getting cleaned up and changed I’m feeling a little better, but I can’t quell my rising panic over the baby. As thenurse performs the ultrasound, Knox holds my hand tightly while Rider stands like a sentry, alert and ready for danger. The fire has put him more on edge than usual, he’s going to be seeing danger around every corner.

The nurse moves the wand around on my stomach, her brow furrowed as she looks intently at the screen. I crane my head, trying to see it, too. There’s no sound. Shouldn’t there be sound?

My eyes dart to Knox and I squeeze his hand tightly as the panic rises in my throat.

My voice comes out strangled. “Is everything okay? Is my baby okay?”

“Just let me… I… I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.” She looks at me with pity in her eyes before glances fearfully at the men. She’s afraid of them.

My brain can’t seem to comprehend what she’s saying. I stare blankly at her in disbelief. Surely, she shouldn’t be telling me this. Where’s the doctor?

“What are you saying?” Knox asks the question in my mind. He sounds as shell-shocked as I am.

“I’m saying she’s lost the baby.”

I go blank. My mind shutting down completely, as I try to cope with this shatteringly horrific news. It can’t be.

No.

I’m vaguely aware of Knox shouting at the nurse, getting irate, of Rider having to calm him down before he’s escorted off the premises by security. The nurse apologizes again beforeleaving. Knox and Rider pull me into their arms, trying to comfort me. I barely feel it. I feel as if I’ve left my body.

“I need some air,” I finally manage to choke out.

“Okay sure,” Knox says, getting ready to come with me.

“I need to be alone, please,” I beg.

I need to wrap my head around this without looking at the crushing weight of the pain in his eyes. If anyone is more devastated by this news, by the loss of this baby, it’s Knox. I can’t bear to look at him.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll be just outside. Please,” I beg, my voice breaking as tears start to fall.

“Alright. But don’t be too long, okay?”

I nod my agreement before stumbling my way along the corridor and heading toward the elevator. I can barely see where I’m going through my tears.

Finally, I find myself in the parking lot. I can’t breathe. I feel like I’ve failed. I’ve failed to keep this baby safe, my only job. This baby that was so desperately wanted by so many people. The last shot at Zeus, Donna, Levi, and April getting the baby they fought so hard to bring into this world. The child Zeus and Donna died protecting. My thoughts go back to earlier in the evening, did I do this? Is this all my fault?

Hunched over, hands on my knees, I try to catch my breath. I’m so lost in my grief that I don’t hear the footsteps approaching.