Page 93 of Pushed

But I didn't. Maybe it was shock or the fact that Imperial seemed to be crying enough for the both of us; the water stopped at the glass surface of my eyes.

“I love you.” The words tumbled out in a whisper as I curled my hands into Imperial's hair and kissed her. Speaking against her lips, my voice rolled over her mouth. “I love you and I'll never be away from you again, never again. I'll make up for this lost time, I promise.”

“I love you too, I love you so much it hurts. I can't believe you're finally here.” Pulling back, she peered up into my eyes with a giddy smirk. “ Machi, meet your daughter. Hazel couldn't wait to see you.”

It wouldn't have mattered how tough I thought I was or how strong and unaffected I wanted to be.My daughter. . . My child.

Dropping to one knee, I cupped my hands in my lap. The small girl shied away, tucking her face into Imperial's thigh.

Lifting my hand to her hair, I teased a thick blond curl. “Hi there, don't be afraid, Hazel, it's Daddy.”

Her big green eyes flashed, twinkling in the sunshine. A playful smile spread across her small, thin lips as she disappeared again into her hiding spot on Imperial's leg, and covered her face with her hands.

I stood in awe of her, seeing small bits of the both of us. She had blond hair just like her mother, with curls that reminded me of mine when I was young. Her jaw was smooth, rounding out like the bottom of a heart. But the one thing that took me, the one thing that made my chest cry out and my heart implode. . .

She has my sister's eyes.

I don't know why that caught me off guard. My sister and I were torn from the same cloth, we had the same blood running through our veins.

And so does my daughter.

It was hard to rationalize that understanding. My family was gone, all of them. But in a way, they were still here, they were living on through the eyes of another; through me and through my child.

One eye peeked, dancing in place as she looked up at me.

“It's okay, Honey, you hear my voice, it's me, it's Daddy.” Running my thumb down her nose, I inhaled a deep breath. “I've missed you, I've missed you so much.”

Her tiny hands lowered from her face as she shifted on her feet, rocking back and forth. Imperial lowered down, holding Hazel's shoulders and whispering into her ear. Hazel smiled big, her eyes closing slightly as she giggled.

She was beautiful, just like her mother.

It was surreal having both of them right there in arms reach. They were here, I could touch them, feel them, and for the first time, it wasn't my imagination.

Scooting her forward, Imperial wiped her cheeks, erasing the tears. Hazel took a few small steps, bringing her hands up to her face to cover her eyes.

“Uh oh, where did Hazel go? I don't see her anymore.” Flicking my head around and over my shoulder, I pretended to search for her.

I heard her giggle, the same giggle I had heard on the phone so many times before. “Boo!” she yelled, throwing her hands away and diving into my arms. “Did I scare you, Daddy?”

“Oh boy! You sure did scare me.” Resting my hand over my heart, I pretended to breath like I had feared for my life.

Hazel lifted her small fingers to my cheek, swiping her hand up and down. “I'm sorry, Daddy, I didn't mean to scare you that much.”

“Don't worry, Honey, I'll be all right.” Skipping my knuckles over her chin, I pinched her jaw. “I love you.”

Jumping up, Hazel curled her arms around my neck and squeezed. “I love you too, Daddy.”

Wrapping her up tight, I held her against my chest and picked her up. I was finally holding my baby, finally cradling my daughter in my arms. My eyes welled up as I snuggled my face against hers.

And I cried for something good for the first time in what felt like forever. I cried for my daughter, for Imperial, for everything I was allowed to still have after all the things I had done.

There was time I was never going to get back, there were birthdays I had missed and moments of all her firsts I'd never have the chance to see.

But having her in my arms, feeling a part of my soul in the heart of that gorgeous child. . .

It made life worth living, and nothing would ever force me away from them.

Because this was my family, my life, my everything.

––––––––