Page 53

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh God, I’m going to be fired. And I shouldn’t even be worrying about that because Chris is in an ambulance on the way to the hospital and I need to get there. My car! Jesus. I can run. I need to go. Like, right now.”

“Jai.” I needed to calm him, because him taking off in this state wasn’t going to help. Yes, he needed to get to the hospital. Him crashing his SUV on the way wasn’t going to help anyone—least of all Chris.

“You don’t understand. I should’ve been there tonight. I never should have left. If something happens—”

“Jai.” Again, calm and authoritative. Like when Keegan was spiraling.

“Their lifewas in danger. I might’ve prevented what happened. I mean, if something happens—”

“Jai.”

Still with the wild hand gestures, as if beseeching me to understand.

I did. If Keegan had been hurt, I’d be beside myself. But my mind worked differently than Jai’s clearly did. Bad things helped me focus on the essential and block out all the noise. I’d deal with the crisis and push all the noise—including self-recriminations—to the background.

Jai was obviously the opposite. Panic was sending his mind skittering all over the place and obviously nothing I said was going to calm him.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. “Stop! Sit!”

He plopped his ass onto the bed.

I took a short-lived breath of relief.

Chapter Fifteen

Jai

Did he just…? And did I…? Wow.Even as I tried to absorb what was happening, my mind settled.

“Good boy, Buttercup. You’re a good boy.”

Demetrius was crooning to me. I was seated on the bed in his hotel room, and he was standing before me, hands on his knees, and his gaze level with mine.

“My Buttercup is a good boy. You’re going to breathe slowly.”

My mind wanted to rebel—because I had something super important to do. But his words settled something within me. Something long-forgotten. I blinked. “Big D?”

A grin broke out across his face. “You remember. You were always my favorite. Now—may I pet you?”

I bobbed my head quickly. I wanted his touch. Craved his touch. His touch always soothed.

He eased himself onto the bed next to me and gathered me into his arms. He feathered my hair with one hand while giving me scritchesup and down my back with the other. His familiarity overwhelmed me. Memories of six years ago flooded me.

How did I not recognize him from the beginning? This is Big D. D. Demetrius. Also Big Daddy.

Because I’d been in a monogamous relationship with Gary, I hadn’t engaged in any kind of sex acts with anyone. For me, What’sUp Pup was playtime. Scritches and ball chasing and puppy piles. Big D used to bring me treats and chew toys and— “You left me those treats. And that toy.” My voice was barely above a whisper.

“I did, pup. I hoped you’d remember me.”

“I didn’t…but I do now.”

“That’s good. And we’re going to talk about this later. Right now, though, I need to drive you to the Abbotsford Hospital. You need to make sure Chris is okay.”

My mind coalesced around his words, and I tensed.

“It’s okay, pup. I’ll be there for you.”

“I should drive.”