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Chapter 18

Aliya

THE ROOM WAS QUIETin the wake of my men’s exit, but the thoughts roaring in my head were so loud they would’ve drowned out anything else regardless.

I didn’t want to hear them. I wanted some time and space to think. Or maybe to not think at all.

After the intensity of last night, I certainly hadn’t expected them to wake me up with more carnal play. My body was sore in an admittedly delightful way, making it easy to curl up beneath the sheets and surrender to the comfort they offered.

I wanted to stay in this bed all day. It smelled like them.

Ismelled like them.

And I was a traitor for loving that smell. I was a traitor for going along with their fun this morning. And I was a traitor for feeling anything for them but hatred.

They hadn’t known I’d been awake during their whispered conversation. I hadn’t even been sure I was truly awake, that it wasn’t part of some dream, until Jax’s tongue ran up between my thighs.

Then, I’d known it was all true. That they’d been lying to me this whole time. I’d believed them about everything they’d said. I’d trusted them... but it was all for nothing.

Their pack would arrive soon, and according to Tannin, they’d want to put me to death.

I bit my lip. Tannin’s lies hit harder than anything else. He’d been so sweet, so wonderful the whole time I’d known him. How could he hide something so important from me?

I hated myself for going along with what they’d done to me this morning, for not putting a stop to their seduction and making some excuse to make them leave. I told myself at the time that I needed to act normally, that if I didn’t play along, they’d get suspicious, and I’d lose their trust.

But the truth was, everything they did to me felt so good. I couldn’t bring myself to deny them even though I knew who and what they truly were, and what they’d been planning all along.

Now I felt dirty and ashamed. I was a disgrace to my people. I’d given myself to a pair of wolves who were only using me. I’d been so blinded by my immature, bullshit fantasies of love and fate, I hadn’t been able to see what was right in front of me.

Why hadn’t I questioned if they had a pack? Jax had said he was the Alpha, and I had foolishly assumed that was just part of the dynamic between the two of them. I was so stupid for not realizing he wasthe leaderof the entire black wolf pack.

I put my hands over my face, wishing I could rub my idiocy away.Stupid girl.

Their pack was coming, here to Varinya, and I could only assume it was for the purpose of conquering it for themselves. I’d had a plan to get Jax and Tannin off the property, but what was I going to do about an invasion?

I sat up in bed as a sad thought slithered through my mind, silencing all the others.

Was Varinya even worth protecting anymore? There was no one left to even call my home a kingdom. The villagers, the castle staff, and my parents were all dead and gone.

Maybe I should just leave. I could pack up my necessities while mymateswere making breakfast and sneak out before they knew I was gone. I’d throw a few outfits in a bag, grab Willow, and slip out through the main doors.

The main problem however, was that I wouldn’t be able to get any food for my journey. Jax and Tannin were in the kitchen, and they’d see me if I tried to rifle through the garden. How long would I last without food?

Where would I even go? Ashala, the neighboring kingdom, was three days’ travel from here, probably more with my limited knowledge of the terrain and poor navigation skills. If I was cautious and constantly alert, I stood a small chance of defending myself against predators with my magic. Though I didn’t like my odds against a cusith, let alone more than one of them.

And if I managed to reach Ashala, what would I do? They wouldn’t believe I was who I claimed to be, not without proof. I didn’t know what I could snatch before being caught to show them as evidence of my pedigree. And even if I could, they might not care. What good was a princess without a people to rule?

I was little more than a useless woman now. Especially to an outsider.

If I was able to escape and arrive anywhere safely, I’d have to completely start over. And the world wasn’t kind to lone, nameless women, especially those with any manner of beauty.

The door opened, and Tannin peered inside. Dammit, why did he have to be so handsome? A wolf in sheep’s clothing, indeed.