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I grit my teeth and keep my eyes on the road. It’s a bad time to get turned on, but my cock doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.
“I do, Miss Ryder, I do. And believe me, I’m interested. But I don’t want you to feel like we have to have sex.”
“What? Don’t you want to have sex with me?”
“Only when I’m awake. And when I’m asleep. Basically all the fucking time. You know I can’t get enough of you, baby. All I’msaying is we don’t have to. We could just, you know, cuddle and spoon.”
“Cuddle and spoon?” she repeats, sounding shocked.
“Yeah. Cuddle and spoon. Or fuck each other’s brains out, whichever you prefer.”
She puts her hand on my thigh, and fuck, her fingers feel good. Concentrate, Drake, concentrate. She gazes out the window and leans back in the seat. “Thank you for coming, Drake. It means a lot to me. I think she knows, don’t you?”
“About us? She definitely knows. How do you feel about that?”
She lets out a little laugh and shakes her head. “I feel good about it. I hated hiding things from her, and I hated hiding you away. I’d love for you two to get to know each other, and it’s not like she’s going to tell anyone.”
“I don’t know. From what you’ve said, that Mrs. Katzberg lady from across the street might be trouble.”
“True, but she’s on my side. Anyway. I’m glad. I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of my mom, and it’s nice that two of my very favorite people will get the chance to be friends.”
I don’t react much on the surface, but I’m secretly thrilled at her reaction and to hear that she’s proud of me. I’ve often felt second-best in my life, but never with Amelia.
“But now,” she continues, sighing. “Now I just want to try to calm down from everything for a while, you know? Mom is in good hands, she’s out of danger, and she’s doing well. The nurses have my number in case anything happens, and I hope you don’t mind, but I gave them yours as a backup.”
I nod. “Of course, that’s fine.”
“Anyway. It’s like the nurse said earlier, I won’t be able to help her if I’m too strung out myself. It’s like that oxygen mask on the plane thing. Mom was good when we left, and I’ll be back there first thing tomorrow. But tonight? Tonight I need torecharge. I need to not obsess about it all for hours on end. I just wish my brain came with an off switch or that I knew how to distract myself.”
I have an idea, but it seems selfish to even consider it. Suggesting it would almost certainly make me sound like an asshole.
“Where have you gone, Drake?” she asks, staring over at me.
“Nowhere, baby. I, uh… I had a thought.”
“You know I could hit a homerun with that sentence, don’t you?”
I laugh. “Swing for the fences, mi rosa, swing for the fences.”
She giggles, and the sound lights me up. “You still haven’t told me what your thought was.”
Fuck. Why shouldn’t I suggest it? She can say always say no if she’s not into it. “You know how I like untying stuff? Especially if you’re wearing it?”
“I had noticed that.”
I hum softly, thinking of the right way to make this proposition.
“You have that length of cord in your office too. You play around with it when you’re stressed. Is it the same kind of thing?” she asks, and I feel the heat of her eyes on me.
“Kinda. Have you heard of Shibari?”
“I think Kimmy told me about it once. A girl she dated was into it. It’s like tying people up, right?”
“It’s more than that. It’s a kind of Japanese bondage, but it’s more than sex. If you do it with the right partner, it can be deeply sensual. Incredibly enjoyable. It’s also very distracting.”
She’s silent, and I risk a glance at her face. I was worried she’d be cringing in horror, but instead, I see she’s sucking on her plump lower lip, her head tilted to one side as she thinks it over.
“Can you tell me a little more?” she asks. “Like… does it hurt?”