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Let’s be honest: there could be a lot of answers for the “why” question. I’ve made some formidable enemies since appearing on the DC scene. One who’s already tried to poison me once and another group who’ve sent multiple assassins to kill me.

But with those assholes who attempted to drive the world into war for monetary gains dead, or worse, at some nondescript CIA black site location, there’s only one asshole whose loathing exceeds all others.

Shawn fucking Whit.

Shawn is who I’d place my bet on setting this all up. There’s no way he could’ve pulled this off on his own though. Which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest considering he isn’t the type of sociopath who gets his hands dirty. Watch someone destroy me and get off while doing it, sure, that’s Shawn. But not actually executing the kidnapping of the president and murder of over a dozen agents.

I choke on a sob.

Those men, my agents, are dead. All of them.

Warm tears escape from the corners of both eyes, descending over my temples and trailing along my jawline. Despair grips what little hope I’ve held on to this far, suffocating it until all that’s left in its place is a desolate chasm where it used to live.

Seconds turn to minutes. Minutes turn into what feels like hours of lying there despondently, staring unseeing at the ceiling. Eventually the leaking tears dry even though the grief continues to strangle my heart.

The bright glaring sun through the windows and the increasing sweltering heat are both signals I’ve been here for a good while. Yet no one has checked on my well-being or explained their demands. I’m not sure which is worse: lying here alone with only my increasingly dark and rampant day dreams as company or meeting the men who took me and them clearly detailing out what they have planned for me.

I could die here today. More than likely Iwilldie right here in this abandoned warehouse alone and in quite a bit of pain.

Stealing my spine, I drum up any semblance of courage I can, preparing myself for the inevitable.

It’s okay if I die. Everyone will move on. The world will still turn and live their lives.

Then a happy memory of a smirking, honey brown-eyed man flashes before my eyes. The look of sheer happiness and relief when I said yes sticks to the forefront of my mind, reminding me of what I have to live for and blasting through the despair I unconsciously slipped into for self-preservation.

A new wave of agony takes hold as more faces, more memories, emerge, reminding me of what I would leave behind if I just gave up now.

Taeler and that sweet baby. I’d never get to see my only daughter become the fantastic mother I know she’ll be. Or get to see my grandbaby grow up to be just as crazy and dramatic as her mother and grandmother.

Tank and Sarah. I wouldn’t ever get to thank them for being the friends I’ve always wanted but never had and for showing me what true love and respect in a relationship looks like.

Mom. A bit of an odd cookie now, sure, but I’m so proud of her, even if she thinks everything can be cured by honey or an oil.

Vlad. Okay, that one is a stretch.

This is my inner fighter, the badass I’ve always wanted to be, pushing me to not give up but to wage the same war on them that they’ve done to me. I’m not some helpless victim who takes things lying down. That’s never been me. I’ve always fought, struggled, and worked to get anywhere in life. Sure, escaping all this alive might be a bit trickier than undergrad and Harvard, but I have to at least try.

The emotionless chill that settled into my blood is driven out by their love for me and mine for them.

I can’t give up.

What the ever-loving fuck was I thinking?

Yes, I’m miserable, yes, I’m frightened, and hell yes, my chest and soul ache with the deep, urgent need for Trey, but I can’t let that hold me back from fighting.

It’s me and me alone until Trey finds me. Until he and Tank swoop in and save the day. Which, deep in my gut, I know they will. Before it’s too late, well, I’m not sure about that one, but I know they will come. I just have to hold on, not give up until they do.

Which means I have to fight.

Fight for my life and for the lives that will be affected if I die here.

Today is not the day I take my last breath.

Neither is tomorrow.

Trey and I will have our happily ever after. I won’t let anyone take that away from me, not now, not when I’ve finally found my source of happiness.

No. I’m not giving up.