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“I see it as a complete and final rejection of God’s grace. Basically, when a person is so far gone that they no longer care about right and wrong. If Joshua Wildblood were to ask forgiveness for his sins, and to be truly repentant, God would offer his forgiveness.”
“You really think God would forgive someone for raping and murdering eleven innocent young women?”
“If he was truly sorry? If he truly repented? Yes, I do.”
“I couldn’t forgive someone who did that,” I admit, “even if they said they were sorry.”
“That’s why God is called the Almighty and you’re plain old Fraser Bell.”
I give a short laugh.
“What’s really the problem here?” Dad asks. “Are you worried that if, for example, you were to have a son, he might inherit some evil gene from her father?”
“A son? Hallie and I haven’t even dated properly yet. It seems a bit premature to be talking about children.”
“You’re thirty, Fraser. It’s your business whether you wait another ten years to have children, or if you never have them. But you need to accept that any girl you have a relationship with might want children.”
I hadn’t thought of it like that. Hallie is nearly twenty-eight. It’s quite possible that she’s starting to think about settling down and having a family.
“So,” he says, “would her DNA be a concern for you?”
I think about having a baby with Hallie. About making love to her the way I have, without barriers, but in the knowledge that it could get her pregnant. About watching her grow with my child, and being at her side when she gives birth. About holding my son, or my daughter.
I smile at him. “No. It’s not a concern for me at all. I suppose what’s playing on my mind more is the fact that she’s haunted by what he’s done. Her mother told him where Hallie works, and he sent her a letter asking to see her. And it frightened her, I think.”
“Ah.”
“Actually, I think the thought of seeing him terrifies her. I don’t know if she’ll ever get over that, or the feeling that he somehow possesses her like a spirit.”
“Funnily enough, that’s similar to what’s happened to Linc,” he says. “Elora said he wants to haveLiber Sumtattooed on his forehead.”
“I’m free?”
“Yeah. He feels liberated by the fact that he no longer has the man’s DNA inside him. Of course, I think that he’s come to accept what’s always been the truth—that even if Don was Linc’s father, he would never have turned out like him because he’s just a better man.” He sighs. “I’ve been wrong about so many things. I’ve thought I’ve known best, and it’s hardly ever turned out to be the case.”
“You sound melancholy, Dad. That’s not like you.”
“Ah, don’t mind me. Everything that’s happened with Joel, and seeing Linc, and then talking to you… It’s made me reflective, that’s all. I wish I could have done better for you all.”
“You’re not to blame for what’s happened to us. Elora’s assault; Joel’s disappearance; my idiocy. None of it is your fault. And as for Linc… yeah okay, maybe you were harsh on him, but look how he’s turned out. You must have done something right.”
His brow furrows. “You’re not an idiot, son. I don’t like to hear you talking about yourself like that.”
“It’s just that, like you, I wish I made better decisions. It’s so tough though, where the heart’s concerned.”
“We can’t choose who we fall in love with,” he says. “We can’t control our emotions. Only our actions.”
I nod thoughtfully.
“Is Whina Cooper giving you trouble?” he asks.
“She’s reiterated that I’m not to have a relationship with anyone who works for me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I told Hallie I’d resign.”
His eyebrows rise. “Seriously?”