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But Fox and her siblings had made her feel safe, and those nightmares had mostly faded. Still, she would memorize which steps creaked here so she didn’t disturb the others on the nights when sleep didn’t come easily.

For tonight, she kept to the edge of the steps, knowing creaks were less likely there. On the main floor, it was dark. So much darker than in the cities. She loved this kind of dark and quiet, but she would order in a few soft nightlights for the space. If she was going to wander, it would be better to have a few in the hallways. Tumbling down the stairs would definitely wake everyone up.

For now, she turned on the hallway light and wandered into the room where Knox figured Jay had spent most of his indoor time.

The room was huge. Probably larger than the footprint of Fox’s house. The soft indent in the old leather recliner proved where Jay had spent a lot of time.

She brushed her fingers over the worn leather and imagined this was a chair Fox would have loved as well. What had torn them apart? Why hadn’t they fixed it?

Fox had believed in the importance of family. He’d talked often of the way family needed to stand together, needed to support each other. He’d encouraged all of them to learn what was important to the others, and to learn about whatever that was themselves.

That was why Jolie could change her own oil and tires, could sew her own curtains and pillow, knew what the army did overseas, how to use the formula functions on a spreadsheet, and how to see her older siblings as individuals with unique talents and interests.

What had interested Jay?

She perched on the edge of the recliner and checked out the items on his side table. Farming magazines and catalogues. The folded-down pages piqued her interest, and she turned to those.

Irrigation systems.

Harvesting crates.

Composting facilities like Thea’s Worminator. He would be glad that Thea had her dream facility up and running.

Marked pages of cider and pectin making equipment proved he’d thought of diversifying income streams as well.

The books were on farming, apples, woodworking, engine repair, and Abenaki history. Scrap pieces of paper acted as bookmarks and showed Jay loved to learn. Like Fox.

She sighed and stood to wander the rest of the room. A single piece of live-edged wood acted as a mantle above the huge stone fireplace. She crossed to it and ran her fingers over the various textures. She sat on the hearth along the front of the fireplace and looked at the room from a new angle.

If Fox had taken them to visit his brother, there were enough seats on the worn leather couches for them all, but she figured she’d have sat here in front of the fireplace. It was a good spot to watch what was happening. What everyone was doing.

She could picture them all here, the two old men bickering about the best way to do all the things. The rest of them would play board games or whatever Burke came up with to keep the younger ones entertained.

Had Jay liked board games? Cards or chess?

She rose and looked over the shelves, then in the cupboards below them. Sure enough, she found both chess pieces and checkers to go along with a few boards. Decks of cards, worn from years of shuffling. A backgammon board. A few of those wooden puzzles with golf tees set into holes.

She knew Jay hadn’t owned the farm for more than a couple of years. Maybe the games weren’t his. But she could imagine them all here on a rainy day, playing games and laughing.

It was a good image. Better than imagining a lonely Jay sitting by himself in the recliner. Everyone should have a family to count on.

Which brought her thoughts to Ford. He had a huge family. She knew from previous conversations with Knox that Ford had joined the army for a few reasons. One of them was to find his own path. While he loved building and restoring, having seven older brothers meant the family business was full.

That made her sad, too.

All of her siblings would have automatically made room for any of the others if they wanted to be part of something. And it wouldn’t be a fake job. They’d figure it out to make sure everyone was doing something important. Something they wanted to do.

Just like what Knox was doing with the farm. He was open about his desire to pull the five of them together. He’d like to have them all on the farm together, but even if that didn’t happen, they’d all stay connected through the farm. They’d make decisions as a team.

Ford hadn’t had that with his family, but maybe he could find it here.

If she focused on helping him realize that his place here on the farm was important, that he was needed, maybe it would help her shove her crush to the side.

She knew nothing would make her crush totally disappear—the man was too yummy—but she could learn to hide it.

Spending the day touring the farm with Ford had proven he was amazing. Intelligent. Funny. Interested in learning things outside of his focus. Kind and thoughtful.

And sexy. She couldn’t forget sexy.