Page 9

His words trail off, and I can see the haunted look in his eyes, the way he's trying to hide how much it still affects him. I don't know if it's because he's trying to avoid showing too much, or if he can't bear to talk about it more.
He shakes his head and smiles, as if forcing the moment to be over, and changes the subject. The rest of the ride is filled with small talk. The other two men stay quiet, but Reed talks about San Juan County and the local town of Cedar Falls, and I share a little about what it was like growing up in Aurora.
"It was nice, I suppose. Growing up there. But once I had grown up… it wasn't as nice."
He nods, waiting for me to elaborate.
"I mean, the people are great," I say. "It's just… cubicles aren't for me, you know?"
"Tell me about it. A high school teacher once told me I'd make a great salesman, and I told her I'd rather blow my brains out. Which is why I joined the military." He glances at me, his eyes briefly meeting mine before he looks away. "Well, that and the fact that I blew all my cash gambling at cards. But that's firmly in my past. I'm a changed man these days. I don't play cards anymore, and I definitely don't gamble. Ever. By the way, tell me if I'm out of line with the 'blown-out brains' comment. In case, you know, that's how the death happened."
For whatever reason, the way he phrases it makes me chuckle, but the mood shifts immediately.
"Don't worry. It was my uncle, followed shortly by my aunt. Cancer and a heart attack."
I think I see the big man in front flinch at the mention of cancer. When I glance over, he's still staring ahead, his jaw tight, shoulders stiff—trying not to let it show that he's listening.
"So, I'm good?" Reed asks, his voice lighter now, but there's still a flicker of unease beneath it. "I tend to put my foot in my mouth sometimes, so you'll have to tell me if I'm being an asshole."
I turn back to him. "No, no, you were totally fine."
There's a brief, awkward silence, the kind that feels heavier than it should. I'm too exhausted to keep up the façade, and I can tell he's not sure how to navigate the moment either. But he recovers first, his smile returning, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "So," he says, clearing his throat, "let me tell you about the farm. We've been operating for years, been pretty successful with the crops…" He launches into a new topic, his tone professional again, but there's something more guarded in it now.
It's a relief, in a way. I like that he's not tiptoeing around me or treating me like I'm some fragile thing. He's barreling right in, like it's another fact of life. People die. Deal with it.
Soon enough, the truck enters a clearing with a vaguely familiar winding path leading up to a once-familiar lodge. It comes to a stop by the steps, and Reed opens his door first. But before stepping out, his hand brushes against mine in that brief, accidental way, lingering a fraction too long. It's nothing major, but it makes my heart stutter for a second. He doesn't seem to notice, but I do.
As I stare at the lodge, emotion building in my chest, he steps over to my side and opens my door.
"Let me help you," he says, and before I can respond, Reed's large hands grip my waist, lifting me out of the truck with ease.I'm caught off guard by the warmth of his touch and the strength in his hands. It's such an innocent gesture, and yet the heat of it lingers long after he sets me down. My legs feel weak, and I can't tell if it's because I've been in a car for hours, or because something has shifted between us, something I'm not sure I am ready for.
"Oh!" I exclaim, stunned by the sudden feeling of weightlessness. As he sets me down on my feet, I whisper, "Thank you." I feel myself flushing like a schoolgirl. What's happening to me? I should not be feeling like this after only thirty minutes in this man's company. I need to rest and get a good night's sleep. On the other hand, at least I'm feeling like a woman again, after so long bottling up all my emotions. Perhaps there's something in the air up here in the mountains.
"No problem." he whispers back, his voice low, sending a shiver down my spine as he stares down at me. His eyes widen for a brief moment, and I feel an undeniable shift, a pull in my chest, tightening the air between us.
For a second, his gaze flickers down to my lips, and something in my body responds before I can stop it. Is he going to kiss me? The thought feels almost too much to hope for, but I can't deny the heat building between us. Instinctively, almost without thinking, I rise onto my toes, closing the space between us. My lips ache for that connection, the kind of kiss I haven't had in over two years. A kiss that could bring relief to the grief and weight I've been carrying, a kiss that would remind me what it feels like to be alive.
I close my eyes, bracing for it. My heart is thumping wildly in my chest. Is this really happening? I'm so close, so close to feeling something real again. I can almost feel the warmth of his lips on mine, taste the sweetness of a kiss that's long overdue. My stomach flips.
Honk.
The sound of it rips through the moment, a blaring interruption that startles me back to reality. My eyes snap open, and I can't help the jolt that runs through me. Reed shoots an annoyed glance over my head, his jaw tightening. Without missing a beat, he flips the driver off, a gesture so effortlessly fierce that I can't help but smile. His gaze softens as he looks back at me, but it's a wry smile, filled with something unreadable. He doesn't apologize for the moment being broken. He simply stands there, still close, and the tension lingers.
"I'll see you around," he says.
"Uh-huh," I respond, my tongue tied with lust again. As he walks away, leaving that same masculine scent of cedar, musk, and tobacco behind, I sigh and grip the railing to steady myself.
The truck disappears into the distance, and I replay that stolen moment in my mind—the 'almost kiss' right here next to the veranda. I would have let him kiss me. I would have let him do a lot of things to me.
I don't know what’s come over me, but the second Reed's eyes dropped to my lips, it felt like my brain short-circuited. That man is Hawt with a capital H. Not only that—he's charming and playful. What's more, I realize, he's drawn to me. He finds me attractive.Now that's something for a girl to think about.It's been a long, long time since I'd been with any man, and if I'm honest it's been even longer since I've been with a man that meant anything to me. But this one… this one seems… special.
Even the scent of beer on his breath doesn't deter me. If anything, it feels like reality again, after too long on my own. It's been, what, two years since I broke up with Evan? I don’t miss Evan, but I do miss sex. I have no qualms about the kind of man Reed is—a certified player if ever I saw one. Another way of looking at that of course, is that he's definitely the type who can show me a good time. So, the question is… do I want a good time?
Meanwhile, Reed's almost-kiss leaves me burning up inside.
Whew,I fan myself as I turn back to the lodge.This man is dangerous.
I stare at the wooden cabin in front of me and trudge up the steps. The old lodge doesn't look too bad, considering it's been abandoned for years. Or perhaps it's too dark for me to see the worst. I glance behind me at the lake below and the sprawling forest beyond, as I listen to the trickle of water in the stream. There's a peace here I haven't felt in years. An early owl calling from the trees, the scent of pine resin, the hum of nighttime insects, the splash of a waterbird in the weeds by the shore—the whole thing is almost overwhelmingly magical to my senses. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I can breathe.