Page 14

Leaving the Bureau, I do my best to push away the shadows of those thoughts. Wind whips through my hair, hot and dampwith a hint of salt from the waterfront just a handful of blocks away.

It’s no use, though, and the memories flood in fast and sharp and unwelcome.

Not just all the reminders of the differences between me and my family, but of Boston. My deeply conflicted feelings about stepping foot back in the city, and the lingering certainty that agreeing to this was a mistake.

I never went back to the Raven after that night on the roof with Casimir.

Even years later, the memory of his words still has the power to put a tight knot of regret in the bottom of my gut. He was right to cut me down to size, even if I never saw him that way or intended to imply all I wanted from him was a bloodbond.

I don’t knowwhatI wanted from him, what I was thinking, what I was doing.

I was careless, thoughtless. In way over my head.

And in some small, shame-filled corner of my mind, I still wonder if maybe he was right. Is that what I was doing, back then? Looking for a vampire to claim me, looking for some way to stay with my family, to outrun the shadows that have been hanging over my head since I was old enough to realize how different I was from the people I love most?

Even though running from Boston after I graduated might have been the coward’s way out, it also gave me the space and distance I needed to better come to terms with it all.

With who I am, with what I am, with the fact that no matter how much I try or how hard I work, I’ll still just be me.

I’ll still just be human.

The Acts changed a lot—they changed the fabric of the world and the shape of the future, they brought so many out into the light—but they didn’t change that one simple truth.

Now it’s up to me to navigate that truth, this changed world, and my place within it.

Starting in Boston.

I’m half-way across the courtyard outside the Bureau’s main entrance when a voice calls out from behind me, piercing the haze of those thoughts and stopping me in my tracks.

“Ophelia.”

Goddamn it.

I should have known I wasn’t safe. Not until I put more distance between me and the Bureau. Not until I was tucked safely into my van, the horizon before me, heading east. I should have known not to let my guard down.

I turn to find Casimir standing tall and unmoving against the blustery day, watching me with hard, inscrutable eyes.

God, I forgot just how handsome he is.

I didn’t let myself look at him too closely up in Blair’s office, but I can’t stop my eyes from roving over him now. Still so sleek and elegant, with platinum blond hair catching the breeze and mouth set into something that might be a smirk, though I don’t know if it’s curled in humor or distaste.

“Casimir,” I say, another spectacular opening line. “About what happened in Blair’s—”

“I hope the two of us will be able to—”

We speak over each other, both our words cutting off as an awkward silence falls between us.

He dips his head—a small, unexpected show of deference—and I latch on to the opportunity immediately.

“We can stay out of each other’s way. In Boston.”

Casimir nods. “If that’s what you prefer.”

“I do,” I say, clearing my throat and shifting from one foot to the other. “Sorry if you wasted your time with this meeting. There’s no reason I can’t—”

“You mistake me, Ophelia. I fully intend to investigate this matter to the best of my ability. Whether or not we work that investigation together, I have given Blair my word.”

“Fine. Then I’m sure Blair or Cleo can facilitate any needed communication between us. There’s no reason the two of us need to—”