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“Because they’ve all kept their relationships separate and haven’t let it interfere with work. I’ve operated with Cooper and his wife, Madison, before, and you’d never guess they weremarried when you’re in the field. Even when the shooting starts, they keep it professional. I heard that on an Op once, they both took rounds to their vests and that was the only time they held hands and anyone saw a glimmer of the personal relationship they have.”
Becca was shocked to hear his statement. Shooting? Shot in their vests? She’d met Madison. And although she’d been impressed with how competent Madison had seemed, she couldn’t imagine her rescuing her in the closet as Carter had. “So Madison is a full member of the team, just like you and Jackson, I mean, she does the same dangerous job?”
Tessman chuckled. “Women are just as capable as men, you know, at least the women at Shepherd Security. Briana’s just completed her Operator training. She’s only been with us a few months.”
“Yes, I remember you telling me that Madison is Briana’s Supervisory and Training Officer, that she used to be a captain in the Army. I guess I didn’t put two and two together that she does exactly what you do.”
“She does,” he confirmed. “I’d trust her with my life.”
Becca let that sink in. She nodded. Then she took a bite of her potato, followed by one of her steak. The food was still hot and cooked to perfection. “Oh, my God, this is so good.”
Tessman smiled a satisfied grin. He’d wanted to treat her to something good. She’d eaten the leftovers and hadn’t complained about anything. “Yeah, it’s my go-to place when I want a good steak.”
They ate their meals and exchanged small talk mostly about food likes and dislikes. Tessman’s thoughts were on bedtime and what the sleeping arrangements would be, as well as if there’d be any extra-curricular activities. He didn’t want to assume that just because they’d had sex, that they would continue to have it every time they had the opportunity.
Tessman refilled their wine glasses and cleared his throat. “So, back to the conversation we were having at your place, earlier. Becca, I’ve never really been what anyone would call relationship material. This job is hard on relationships, but I want to try, when you’re ready, that is. I know you’ve been through a lot and probably need some time to figure out your own life and where your head is.”
Becca was impressed with him and his directness, a quality she admired and always tried to conduct herself with. “Yes, you’re right about that, but as I said earlier, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Would you say it’s the job that makes you say you’re not relationship material or is it something else?”
Tessman took a drink of the wine, to stall. “Good question. I think the job has made it easy for me to not have to explore it at all. It’s a hard job that makes a person disconnect from their emotions. It’s been easy for me to keep that detachment. But I feel very attached to you, and I want to see where this can go. I want to be there to support you as you figure out your new normal and as you heal from the emotional toll this has had to have taken on you. But I’ll be doing that while deployed on missions. I’ve never had a long-distance relationship before. I’ve watched my teammates do it, some making it look effortless, some struggling. My best friend recently got into a relationship. She’s living with him now and they got engaged really quickly. I didn’t understand it until now. They know they want each other in their lives and when he’s home, want to spend every second together because time is precious and limited. And there’s a kid involved, not his, but he feels responsible for her. I guess what I’m saying is, it can be done. Honestly, I think one thing that has stopped me in the past, besides the fact that I didn’t meet anyone who I spent enough time with to feel attached to them, is that I haven’t wanted to get into a relationship that would fail because of my job.”
“If we’re being honest with each other, I’ve kind of sucked at relationships. I’ve spent a great deal of time in school to become a lawyer and that had to come first. Not many guys understood that and were okay with taking a back seat to my education and then career. And since I’ve passed the bar, my billable hours have been higher than any of the other associates at the firm. Add in the commute downtown and it hasn’t left much time for a relationship.”
“Sounds like the guys you’ve been involved with are the ones who suck at relationships. I’m sure you were honest about your commitments.”
She nodded, again impressed with him. “Yes, very honest. But I plan to have a much different approach to my career now, whatever career that turns out to be.”
“And you don’t have to figure that out yet. Get through this first then see what interests you,” he said. “I’m sure you can do a lot as a lawyer.”
“Yes, there are a lot of different types of law to practice. In the short term, I’m happy to help Briana’s client. Who knows, maybe I’ll help a few more before I decide on what my future should be. It could be this. I don’t know.”
“I think that’s a good approach. Keep the pressure off yourself. You don’t need any pressure right now.”
Tessman cut the last two bites of his steak apart and then ate them. He noticed she’d polished her entire meal off as well. He liked a woman who ate a full meal. A lot of the women he’d been with ate salads or left half their plate untouched. A woman starving herself or denying herself good food was not attractive to him. But in the past, with sex partners anyway, it hadn’t mattered to him. He’d known none of those trysts would form into relationships and any traits she had besides her sexual openness were irrelevant. He’d never voiced that thoughtto anyone, not even Wilson as he’d sound very shallow, which maybe he had been.
“And now that I know I have no job, honestly, I don’t feel any pressure. It’s strangely freeing. I will have to go into the office soon though and get my things that are in my office. I haven’t replied to the partners yet to confirm that I won’t be back. They left it open so that if I could return to a regular full-time, in-person presence in the office that I could keep my job. But even if this was resolved, I wouldn’t do that, no longer interested.”
“It’s good you know that.”
“Yeah, that job was a good fit for me once but I’ve outgrown it. Spending sixty plus hours a week in that office no longer suits me. Not when I know I can work from home and accomplish the same tasks, probably more in the allotted time. I may still do some estate planning, but I don’t want to coast doing easy, boring work any longer.”
“Again, good you know that. And even better that you have the means to take some time off and decide what you want to do after all this is over, in your own time.”
“Yes,” she agreed, taking the last drink of her wine.
“Would you like another glass?” he offered.
“No, I think I’d just like to take a hot shower and then put my pajamas on and lie in bed watching a funny movie for a few hours before I fall asleep. I’d like it if you’d join me.”
“I’d like that too,” he said, knowing she’d pretty much set the expectations of behavior for the evening in that statement.
Victor
Becca didn’t have to wait long for Shepherd to have everything arranged for her to meet with John Standish. She woke snuggled tightly against Carter when both of their phones chimed invitations to the meeting in Shepherd’s office that would take place at eleven hundred hours, eleven a.m. The subject line was ‘Prep for Standish Meeting’.
Becca rolled back into Carter, resting her head on his chest after they’d both viewed their screens. “Really, he had to send this invitation at six a.m.”
Tessman chuckled. “He’s probably been up working for hours. The man’s a machine.”