Page 30

WAITING AND WONDERING

LACEY

The gloomy atmosphereof the waiting room at the clinic stood out in stark contrast to the bright fluorescent lights above. Despite everything, Mama Goodson sat tall and strong in one of the stiff-backed chairs. Dawson, Lawson, and Grayson flanked her, all wearing soot-smeared clothes and expressions that swung between exhaustion and tension.

Carson sat beside me, his arm resting loosely around my shoulders, like I might unravel at any second. My body still shook from the inside out.

The scene played on a loop in my head, and I couldn’t shut it off. The image of Hudson running into that burning house haunted me, followed minutes later by him staggering out, dragging another firefighter behind him. Both of them collapsed in the front yard as EMTs rushed to their aid.

Once they were on the gurneys with oxygen masks firmly in place, Mama and I only had enough time to squeeze his hand before they whisked him away in an ambulance.

Now we waited with no updates or information. At least he was alive. But what of his condition? It was the not knowing that drove me crazy. If Mom had ever gone through something like this with Dad, I must not remember it.

Lawson nudged Dawson with his elbow. “How about that dramatic exit? Wouldn’t expect anything less from Hudson. The Showboat.”

“Perfectly timed collapse for effect,” Dawson replied, his voice weary but trying to lighten the mood.

“Classic Goodson style,” Grayson murmured, tightening his hold on Mama’s arms.

She managed a soft chuckle and whispered, “My boys.”

I was grateful for their attempts to fill the silence.

Carson squeezed my shoulder. “You okay?”

I nodded and lied. “I guess.”

Mama reached over and patted my knee. “You’re doing better than most would, honey.”

I stared down at my soot-streaked hands and clothes, recalling the ash everywhere in the yard. “How are you so strong, Mama? I mean… you lost your husband fighting fires. Now Hudson is somewhere in this clinic? I don’t know how you ever let him follow in his father’s footsteps. I couldn’t bear it.”

She looked at me with soft, wise eyes. “There was never a version of him that wasn’t destined to be a firefighter. He worshipped his daddy. Hudson was a fireman almost every Halloween in grade school. I can remember he’d wear his little helmet from the costume year around whenever he’d play in the yard, pretending to fight fires with our garden hose.”

The lump in my throat swelled. I blinked hard, swallowing the wave of emotion clawing its way up.

“When you love someone, baby girl, you don’t get to pick who they are. You accept them. You pray for them. And you love them no matter what they do.”

I smiled weakly, trying to put myself in her shoes. Would I grow to be strong like her someday?

“Want to get some air?” Carson whispered beside me.

I nodded and stood, following him down the hallway until we reached a quiet corner near the vending machines. He bought a pack of candy coated chocolate peanuts and shared a few with me, taking me back years to when we’d share candy all the time.

He faced me between bites, leaning his shoulder against the wall. “Lacey, I apologize I haven’t stopped by to talk to you before now. I wanted to. I definitely didn’t think it would take a fire to bring us together again like this.”

“Same.” I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to shake.

“Emme’s kept me pretty busy with this wedding coming at us so fast. With Java Co. and all, I lose track of my days.”

“Time flies when you’re a groom about to get married,” I teased, the smile not quite reaching my eyes. “And I’m sorry about all these rumors. I did not come back here to break you up.”

He smiled softly. “It’s okay. I told Emme about our pinkie promise, and I think she told her mom and aunts and things kinda snowballed from there.”

“Small towns,” I chuckled, shaking my head.

“Lacey. I loved you once. You know that, right?” He leaned in, catching my gaze.

I nodded. “I know.”