Page 104

“No.” It was all Evelyn could muster, her breaths shallow as she waited for his response.

Kade relaxed, leaning back in his chair. Worry and exhaustion still weighed on his shoulders. He ran a hand through his hair. They sat in silence. There was a comfort in the air, a settling sense of having him close to her.

Evelyn turned away from him, staring into the flames of the fire. It danced and twisted, beautiful tendrils of red and orange. She remembered the sphere she’d conjured against the demon. The wretched things the White Lady had said. Kade’s speed and strength as a werewolf.

They had so much to talk about. The development in the murders. A new foe at play. None of those things seemed to matter, though. Even a week ago, Evelyn would’ve used those as an excuse, ignoring whatever this was between them. She didn’t want to now. Kade deserved to know the truth. All of it, even if he made the decision that they couldn’t be together for the sake of their homeland. She took a long breath, deciding to get it over with.

“I’m sorry,” Evelyn said in a rush, setting the cup of water back on the bedside.

Kade’s head snapped up. “For what?”

“For making you leave that night,” she said.

Kade winced, and he shook his head. “Evelyn, I lied to you and said hurtful things. You had every right to be angry with me—”

“I lied too, Kade. After all, I was the one who left in the first place.”

His gaze roamed over her. Evelyn expected to see anger or resentment, but all she witnessed was that deep-rooted kindness mixed with longing.

Evelyn sighed, her breath shuddering as she held back tears. “The day my parents died, I was riding out to meet your father and brother.”

“I remember,” Kade said.

“Well, I was a bucket of nerves and feeling like a prize peacock. Anyway, there I was, annoyed to even be there, frantic to meet my betrothed’s family, and worried about what they’d tell you, not knowing it would be my last moments with my parents.”

Maxie prowled up the bed, plopping into Evelyn’s lap. Her familiar felt her pain and began to purr. The feline hum calmed Evelyn, and she stroked Maxie down her back, finding enough resolve to continue.

“Then the vampyrs attacked. It all happened so quickly. The sun set, and they came out of nowhere. We never expected them, but we fought. Hard. But then one threatened to tear my mother’s throat . . .” Evelyn sucked in a breath. She’d felt so helpless watching the life drain from her mother’s eyes, the vacant hole burrowing into her chest. “I lost my flame.”

Kade’s eyes widened, but it was the only reaction Evelyn witnessed. He said nothing, gave away nothing of what he was thinking.

“My power just left me. I couldn’t grasp it, couldn’t wield it. It didn’t matter how much I’d trained as Daughter of the Goddess. It did not matter that my own mother needed me. My father realized, saw me struggling. Despite the pain of watching and feeling his fated’s death, he saved me by casting me across the river. Then he was killed, too.”

Tears streamed down Evelyn’s face. Maxie nuzzled her cheek into Evelyn’s chest, and she pulled her familiar closer, thankful for the contact.

“I need you to know, I tried to get it back. Day after day, night after night. Months went by, and I told no one. Not even my sisters. Then Mirella announced our wedding date, and I knew I couldn’t marry you. I wasn’t the Daughter of the Goddess. How could I be? Not without my flame.” Evelyn released Maxie to stare at her hands, recalling all the times she’d tried to make her flame come forth. “I’d only be false hope, a liability, and if news ever reached the vampyr that my flame had left me, I feared war would break out.”

Kade leaned forward and braced his forearms on his knees. “You left to protect everyone.”

“I know it sounds cowardly—selfish, even. But I didn’t know what else to do,” Evelyn said, looking at Kade. He appeared astounded. “Why aren’t you angry?”

Kade scoffed, leaning back in his chair, as if overcome with exhaustion. “Oh, I was angry. When I first heard you went missing, I’d been worried. Then when we all realized you’d run, all I could feel was anger. You’d left your duty, and I couldn’t fathom it.”

Evelyn flinched.

“I carried that anger for two years. Felt it even on the shores of Callum. And then I met you in the commissioner’s office, appearing lost, sad, but determined. I saw the light in your eyes, your need to protect the people of Callum from the vampyr. I recognized your bluff of taking on the job for money immediately. You cared. You wanted to protect people.”

“That’s all I ever wanted,” Evelyn whispered.

“I know,” Kade said, crossing his arms. “Why didn’t you come to me? Or tell me the truth?”

“Tell the most admired general, Son of the God, that his betrothed failed and was inadequate for the job?”

“You think I have not failed? That I have not made mistakes?”

Evelyn scoffed. “I read about you in the papers. The valiant, courageous Kade Drengr making mistakes?” She shook her head. “I couldn’t imagine it.”

Kade sat forward. “You know how my mother died?”