Page 53
Story: Now to Forever
And most terrifying: Maybe leaving won’t change a damn thing, just like Glory said.
I clear my throat.
“It’s okay not to be fine, you know,” I say, passing her another strip of wallpaper. “I don’t know if anybody I trusted told me that when I was younger, and maybe you and I aren’t so different. I acted out after . . . everything. Drank more than I should have. Dated some real winners. And it’s taken a while for me to be fine.”
“You’re fine now?” she asks, brows pinched in skepticism as she looks down over her shoulder.
“Of course, I am.” I hold my palms up. “Fine as a f—” She raises her eyebrows. “—isherman on a bass boat.”
She smooths the last strip. At the top, in the corner where the wall meets the ceiling, excess paper droops down. I frown. “Let me get a razor blade to clean that up.”
She holds out her hand. “I’ll do it.”
I pass her the blade; she drags it along the corner.
“Crap!” she hisses, stopping abruptly to suck her finger. “The blade slipped.”
She comes down the ladder, blood bursting at the tip of her index finger.
“Bathroom,” I command, guiding her with a hand on her shoulder down the hall.
At the sink, she rinses her finger, blood mixing with water down the drain of the puke-green sink. “I don’t think you’ll need stitches.” I try to examine the cut. “Let me look for Band-Aids.”
“It’s fine,” she says, jerking her hand away from me.
“Okay, nice try. Your dad will arrest me if I send you home bleeding. Let me look.” She tries pulling away from me, but I slide the sleeve of her sweatshirt up on her forearm, high enough it stays dry so I can get a firm grip.
“Scotty! Stop!” she yells, trying to pull her arm away again.
“Jesus, Wren. What the hell is wrong with you?” I squeeze my fingers around her arm, wrestling to still her.
Then I look in my hand and see her arm. Covered in white lines. Scars. At least a dozen.
I look at her; her black-rimmed eyes are desperate and filling with tears as they bounce back and forth between mine. Frantic.
No.
I push her sleeve all the way up, heart pounding in my chest as every tally mark of grief is revealed between her wrist and her elbow. “You’ve been cutting yourself,” I whisper. Two are newer. Red and still healing. “Jesus, Wren.”
At her other arm, I touch her skin like I’m not sure if she’s really there. Like maybe my eyes are lying. She doesn’t fight me as I slide the sleeve up revealing the same marks all the way up to her elbow. My chest feels like it’s been dug out with a shovel and filled with lead.
“Take off your pants,” I demand. I had a college roommate who cut herself. All over her inner thighs and across her stomach. “Now.”
Tears drip down her cheeks. “They aren’t anywhere else.”
“Dammit, Wren, let me see.” She pulls her leggings down, just to her knees—I see her inner thighs are clean. “Now your stomach.” She hesitates. “Now!” I shout, emotion burning my eyes and throat.
She lifts her shirt; her stomach is unmarked.
We look at each other, both quiet and unmoving.
“Okay,” I whisper. “This is all going to be okay.”
With a sharp inhale, Wren drops her face to her hands and lets out a loud cry. My response is reflexive: I wrap my arms around her, and she leans into me with all her weight, sobbing. Her screams and cries highlight the lie of fine—it never is.
We drop to the tile floor, her in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Scotty,” she sobs. Over and over and over. Her cries turn to sniffles and mix with myshhhs.
All I can think: I’m in over my head.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53 (Reading here)
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145