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Sienna hadn’t scheduled any future auditions yet. Helping out at the Rainbow Shelter, dressed down in one of Justine’s old shirts and with zero makeup on her face, turned her into a version of herself that she’d, perhaps, never been. Because Sienna had always been Bobby Bright’s daughter and she’d started her acting career as early as she’d been able to.

These days, at the shelter, she could work a shift at reception without being recognized—the kids coming in had other things on their minds—and it gave her such an unexpected thrill. To simply be a volunteer working at the shelter, with Justine milling about as she did, helped her cope with her father’s death most of all. To use the money she had inherited from him for the shelter made all the more sense because of that, no matter how much her mother and sister had disagreed at first. But they’d changed their minds after Sienna had invited them to come and see, with their own eyes, what the shelter was about. It also helped them to accept the fact that Justine was firmly back in her life. That Sienna and Justine were back on and had every intention of building a future together.

“I’m thanking you anyway.” Justine threw her arms around Sienna and showered her in kisses. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” she said in between every kiss. “Who knew this movie about my life would be the best thing that ever happened to me?” Justine said. “Because it brought me you.”

“To think that my dad warned me against playing a real person,” Sienna managed to say.

“I’m so glad you didn’t listen to him.” Justine pointed at the papers that were spread on the floor between them. “Although Bobby has my eternal gratitude as well.”

“Rest in peace, Bobby Bright,” Sienna whispered, while she nestled into Justine’s arms.

“You know what’s really funny,” Justine said. “When Rochelle and I founded the shelter thirty years ago, we were only able to do so because of the money she raised through her Hollywood connections. For a long time, she managed all the funding. Now, you’ve played her in a movie, and you’re also funding the shelter.”

As a response, Sienna huddled deeper into Justine’s embrace. The last of the sun dipped behind the distant skyscrapers and Sienna felt a calm settle over her. The endowment fund for the shelter was more than a donation; it was an investment in a future she believed in deeply—and it would always connect her to her father as well as to Justine.

Chapter40

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

The movie hadn’t even started but Justine’s eyes were already watery. This whole affair had grown totally out of proportion and defied any expectations. It was one thing to put her signature underneath a contract giving access to her life rights, but it was a whole other ball game to sit in this movie theater, the lights dimming around her, Sienna on one side of her, Rochelle on the other, the hum of anticipation fizzing audibly in the air, and have it unfold in front of her.

For a split second, Justine considered that she couldn’t do this. That she couldn’t sit through this screening ofGimme Shelter. That it would be too painful, too confrontational, too everything she tried to avoid. But that was old Justine. That was Justine-before-Sienna.

Because just as Justine had strutted onto the red carpet earlier, holding onto Sienna’s hand for dear life, and had let herself enjoy it—let herself bask in that gloriously outrageous moment—she could actually enjoy this.

She and Sienna had been officially together for almost a year—certainly a record in Justine’s recent history when it came to amorous relationships. Most Sundays, when Justine had the time, she was welcomed into Maxine Brewster’s lavish mansion. Maxine, Eddy, and Taissa and her husband were sitting in the row behind them. Some days, Justine had to pinch herself, because it kind of felt like she had a family.

Justine let the tears flow freely as she watched Alexis Dalton play that long-ago version of her. That lost, angry, lonely young woman who, according to this movie, had found the strength to set up a shelter for homeless queer youth because of love. Because she met Rochelle and together they were stronger than the sum of their parts. Even though it was dark and Justine couldn’t see her face, Rochelle sat beaming with pride beside her. Justine didn’t have to see her best friend’s face to know that with absolute certainty. Their romance in the movie might have been dramatized for effect, as Charlie and Mimi had called it, and not entirely true to how it had actually transpired, but Rochelle had still changed everything. Just as Sienna had done thirty years later.

Justine squeezed Sienna’s hand. She hadn’t let go of it all night—she found that she couldn’t. Sienna looked dazzling in an emerald gown, courtesy of Francis Delgado, that matched Justine’s tuxedo perfectly. And yes, Sienna was gorgeous and beyond generous and one of the undisputed stars of this movie, yet Justine hadn’t considered herself unworthy of walking the red carpet by her side. Because Sienna had done the one thing that Justine had always thought unimaginable: she had made it possible for Justine to love her, with all her heart and all her soul. With every fiber of her being.

As the movie progressed, and Justine witnessed her own grand transformation on the big screen, she remembered being on set when some of the scenes were being shot. The sucker punch to the gut that seeing the movie version of the Rainbow Shelter for the first time had been. That scene with Nora Levine playing her mother, when Justine’s heart had still been so locked-up, she hadn’t felt a thing—unlike now.

All the emotions she had gone through that had led her to this moment when, ever so slowly, she was going through another huge transformation. As Justine sat in the theater, the broken parts of herself that she’d always wanted to hide at any cost, became a little less broken.

On the screen in front of her, Justine’s partnership with Rochelle was able to move mountains; now, her partnership with Sienna had allowed a sea change inside her very self.

Justine still lived for the shelter. It was still her everything. But it wasn’t the only thing and her reasons for doing what she did had changed along with her. Most of all, the accusations Rochelle loved to hurl at her about her emotional unavailability were no longer correct. Justine had left the door to her heart ajar, and Sienna, with her irresistible, straightforward way of loving, had succeeded in throwing it wide open. Because of that, Justine could, in the end, truly enjoy this movie. This moment that she’d so dreaded, she didn’t even want to think about it when she first met Mimi—Justine’s preferred way of dealing with unwanted emotions. But Justine could experience a difficult emotion about herself now and resist the urge to run away, to bury herself in work, to find something more important to do than tend to her own feelings. Because Sienna didn’t let her get away with that any longer and Justine was ready—more than ready—to accept that. She was ready for love. And this fucking movie had made it possible.

As soon as the credits rolled, everyone jumped out of their seats for a standing ovation. While Justine still found it rather silly to clap for a movie about herself, she joined in. Because the work Mimi, the crew, and the actors had accomplished was astounding. To witness this movie being made had not only been a privilege, but also an unexpectedly powerful source of healing some of Justine’s oldest, deepest wounds. That did deserve a little round of applause.

The lights came on and Justine looked around, at everyone who was attending the premiere ofGimme Shelter. There was Mimi with Nora by her side. There were Mimi’s kids, one of whom had Marcy’s strong arm around her shoulder. And a few rows ahead, there was Min-ji and her partner with, next to them, Raffo Shah, also with her girlfriend. More than four rows in this massive theater were filled with ex-residents of the Rainbow Shelter, and that made Justine’s heart swell most of all.

After this, a big party was planned, and Justine couldn’t wait to catch up with the likes of Raffo, to check in and see how life was treating them. She didn’t have to check in with Min-ji. If it were up to Sienna, and it often was, she and Justine would go to her restaurant at least once a week.

Justine spotted Francis and his husband a few rows down. In between them stood Ashleigh and the sight of her, with a big fat smile on her face, made Justine’s heart ready to burst.

“I’m so incredibly proud of you, babe,” Sienna whispered in her ear.

“Me?” Justine pointed a finger at herself in jest. She shook her head, but then thought better of it. Justine hadn’t made this movie, but she had allowed it to be made. And just like allowing herself to be loved, it had only gone and changed her life.