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She dragged us to the front of the line at the main bar, flashing the bartender a smile and yelling our order. I swayed to the beat of the music behind her, perfectly happy to let her take the lead when it came to interaction with people. It came naturally to her. She was beautiful and engaging, and she made friends as easily as she found lovers.

I’d always been a little jealous of her, wishing I could be as carefree.

It wasn’t until years into our friendship that I learned the price of her charity. Or the cost. So I stood behind her, jamming out to the music, stuck in my own world.

Her mouth was suddenly pressed to my ear and I strained to hear what she said.

“Let’s head up to VIP,” she yelled, and I nodded my assent. She handed me my drink and blew a kiss at the bartender.

After a little more bobbing and weaving, my drink clutched to my chest for fear of spilling it, we finally made it into the air conditioned VIP room.

We fell into the leather sofas, out of breath already.

“We’re getting too old for this.” I laughed, taking a long sip of my drink. It burned all the way down my throat, but the warmth that pooled in my stomach was worth it.

“Are you insane?” She chuckled. “Ilivefor this. Tell me this isn’t always fun.”

“Only when we’re together,” I countered. “Otherwise I wander off and June gets mad.”

“True, you do need a bit of mothering here and there,” she teased. “But you’re my baby chickie and I’ll protect you.”

“Please, you’re as responsible as a five year old!”

“A five year old who’d dig through a dumpster to find you.” She winked.

I laughed.

“Whatever ick you have going on in your mind,” she said, pointing her claw tipped finger at me. “I want it out so you can really have fun tonight.”

The music in the VIP room was softer, melodic. It made it easy to talk without having to scream.

“It’s Hayden,” I admitted, taking another sip of my drink. “I’m just… so angry that she wants to change my parents’ store, you know? I get why she wants to do it, but she could do it to someoneelse’sstore. We’re fine as we are. I’m so scared she’ll change things anyway. And then it won’t feel like home anymore.”

“I get why you feel like that,” she said. “But why project all of this onto Hayden?”

“Because she’s the reason I’m scared.”

“Do you think that maybe you’re letting your crush get in the way of all of this?”

“She- that’s, you know what?” I stammered, heat flooding my cheeks. “Shut up.”

I downed my drink, set the glass down on the table and turned back to Nikkie, who watched me in amusement.

“Finish that,” I ordered, my cheeks hot. “We’re gonna go dance.”

“Ooh, I like this,” she mused, downing her drink and following me out. “Let’s get you laid!”

Maybe it was what I needed. Maybe getting laid would shake Hayden’s grip on me loose or something.

Hopefully.

I tried to push the thought from my head as we followed the throng of pulsing bodies onto the dance floor. Nikkie spun me around and pressed her chest to my back, our hips swaying as one to the music.

Her arms hooked over my shoulders, her voice loud in my ear as she messily sang along.

I giggled, a little giddy, and lost myself to the push and pull of the beat.

I let everything slip away. My fears of losing the store, the fear of losing Mom, and the fear of feeling something I shouldn’t for Hayden.