Page 39

I didn’t ask if he was okay. It was clear that he wasn’t.

“I don’t talk about it.” His voice was tight. “Ever.”

“Sometimes talking can help.”

He grunted.

“You did good work today. Those boys are alive thanks to you.”

“The whole squad helped save them.”

“But you treated them. More than that, you kept them calm and relaxed. You have a gift. Those boys will sleep better tonight because of you.”

Silence fell.

“What was his name?” I asked.

The silence stretched on, then North sucked in a breath. “Drew. He was sixteen.” A harsh expulsion of breath. “He’d gotten his first, part-time job in the agriculture fields. He’d only taken it because he wanted to buy his girlfriend a gift.” North rubbed his face. “A monster attacked and dragged him off. It took a while before anyone realized.”

“Hunter Squad went to find him.”

North nodded. “Jameson was the second in command back then. A guy called Rich was in charge. God. I’d just finished my medical training.” He shook his head. “I thought I knew everything. I was cocky as hell, and I thought I was invincible.”

“What happened?”

“We tracked the monster through the bush. There was a lot of blood, so I knew the kid was hurt badly. I just believed that if we found him, it would be fine.”

“You found him.” But everything clearly hadn’t been fine.

“Yeah. We found the monster and killed it. It had been snacking on Drew before we got there.”

My stomach did a sickening turn. “Oh no.”

“He had deep bite marks, and his abdomen was a mess.” North stared at the wall, lost in the old, painful memories. “He was in terrible pain, and I gave him painkillers to help. Back then, nano-meds weren’t stable enough to have out in the field.If I’d had them then, I might’ve saved him. There was so much damage.”

“It’s not your fault, North.” I gripped his arm. “You did everything you could.”

“He knew he was dying. He cried and asked for his mom. I held him as he took his last breath.”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I shifted close to him and wrapped my arms around him.

He was stiff in my hold, then he moved, dragging me closer and burying his face in my hair.

“He was only sixteen. A good kid. He had his entire life ahead of him. If only…”

“If only the Gizzida hadn’t invaded. If only Drew hadn’t been attacked by a monster. That was out of your control, out of everyone’s control.” I smoothed my hands up his back.

He didn’t say anything else. We sat there, holding each other, until he finally sat back.

“I am sorry about today, Jess. With the wraith. I just wanted to keep you safe. But you’re right, in that moment, I didn’t trust you or your skills. I should have.”

But he was trusting me here and now. Sharing his darkest wound and letting me comfort him.

“It’s all right, North.” I rose. “Trust is earned. I know that. Get some rest tonight.”

He nodded.

I hoped he would. I hoped he went home and slept this off.