Page 12
Story: No Time Off
After a few minutes, I started to get a funny feeling I was being watched, so I cracked open an eye. The woman in the flowered dress had turned around in her seat and was staring me.
“You know, young man, you look familiar. Do I know you?”
Inwardly, I tensed, but I kept a pleasant expression on my face. “I can’t recall that we’ve ever met, ma’am, other than at the gate a few minutes ago. Perhaps you’re thinking of someone else?”
Her forehead wrinkled, and she stroked her chin. “Maybelle, how do I know this young man?” she asked her friend, who leaned forward in her seat and began staring at me, too.
“I don’t know, but you’re right. Thereissomething familiar about him.”
The first woman continued to stare at me with fierce intensity, as if the answer would materialize based on sheer will alone. “Oh,that’show I know you,” she suddenly exclaimed. “I never forget a face.”
Lexi returned to her seat at that moment, looking between me and the women in alarm. I gave her a reassuring smile as she sat down and fastened her seat belt. She picked up her champagne and took a sip.
“And how is it you know me?” I asked calmly.
“You’re the Tampon Hero,” she said.
Lexi spewed her champagne, and I blinked in a mix of shock and surprise. Of all the things she could have said, I hadn’t seen that one coming.
“Am I right, Maybelle? That’s him, isn’t it?”
The older woman nodded. “You’re right. He’s the guy. That’s him. You’re the guy who stopped the robbery at that gas station mart where you’d gone to buy some tampons for your girlfriend. You have a mustache now, but I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.” She pointed to Lexi. “Are you his girl?”
Lexi grinned, patting her mouth with a napkin. “I am. I’m that girl who needed the tampons.”
A small choking noise came from my throat, and I coughed once to clear it.
“Oh my goodness,” the woman gushed. “Your man singlehandedly saved everyone’s lives that day and trussed up the robber like a cooked goose before bringing home your goodies. I read the entire story in theGlobal Enquirerright after it happened.”
“That story was…in theGlobal Enquirer?” I choked again and this time took a large swig of champagne.
“It was. There were photos of you standing with the policeman in front of the mart and you were holding the tampon boxes. There were interviews with the cashier, the owner, and the police, who said you took down the robber all by yourself. There was shattered glass and bullet holes and Cheetos and potato chips scattered across the floor where you’d fought for your life and the lives of everyone in that mart. It was an amazing story. Iknewyou were famous.”
I glanced at Lexi, who had pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. I certainly wasn’t getting any help there. Better to nip this in the bud and hopefully they’d leave us alone.
I gave her a sheepish smile. “Ah, I’m afraid you have me, madam. But as that was months ago, and it really wasn’t that big of a deal, we’d appreciate it if you kept our little secret.”
The woman looked at me with widened eyes. “It certainly was a big deal, young man. You’re a real-life hero, putting your life on the line for the safety of others. Your humility is admirable, but for heaven’s sake, take credit where credit is due.”
Lexi smacked me on the arm, smiling widely. “Yeah, take credit where credit is due.”
I lifted an eyebrow, promising retribution later, as Maybelle lowered her voice. “Listen, I understand you’re embarrassed by the attention. The sign of a true hero. If you don’t want us to say anything, we won’t. Our lips are sealed.”
“Sealed,” the other lady agreed, nodding conspiratorially.
“I appreciate that,” I said.
Lexi was still chuckling as we took off, having forgotten, or at least ignoring, her fear of flying.
I took her hand, squeezing it lightly. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” I asked her softly.
“Nope,” she replied, shaking her head. “And you shouldn’t. You’re a hero to many, Slash. But more importantly, you’remyhero.”
Her words touched me because I knew she meant them. She was the most genuine person I’d ever met. As an adult, I’d been trained to lie, deceive, and even hurt people in the name of national security until I believed it was the only way to right a wrong or stop an evil. I thought all people acted deceitfully in one way or another. No, Iexpectedit. That distrustful, dark part of me still existed, but I’d changed after I met her. Not everyone was like that. What you saw with Lexi was what you got. She was blessedly authentic, intelligent, and loving. No games, no lies, no ulterior motives. Deceit simply wasn’t in her. It still surprised me that despite knowing the real me—darkness and all—she still loved me. She was unquestionably the best part of my life, and I couldn’t imagine living it without her.
The rest of the flight was blessedly quiet. We sat holding hands, watching movies, and napping. Slowly, the constant presence of coiled tension in my gut began to lessen, and I relaxed.
“Happy honeymoon,” I whispered to Lexi in the dim cabin as she began to drift off to sleep.
“You know, young man, you look familiar. Do I know you?”
Inwardly, I tensed, but I kept a pleasant expression on my face. “I can’t recall that we’ve ever met, ma’am, other than at the gate a few minutes ago. Perhaps you’re thinking of someone else?”
Her forehead wrinkled, and she stroked her chin. “Maybelle, how do I know this young man?” she asked her friend, who leaned forward in her seat and began staring at me, too.
“I don’t know, but you’re right. Thereissomething familiar about him.”
The first woman continued to stare at me with fierce intensity, as if the answer would materialize based on sheer will alone. “Oh,that’show I know you,” she suddenly exclaimed. “I never forget a face.”
Lexi returned to her seat at that moment, looking between me and the women in alarm. I gave her a reassuring smile as she sat down and fastened her seat belt. She picked up her champagne and took a sip.
“And how is it you know me?” I asked calmly.
“You’re the Tampon Hero,” she said.
Lexi spewed her champagne, and I blinked in a mix of shock and surprise. Of all the things she could have said, I hadn’t seen that one coming.
“Am I right, Maybelle? That’s him, isn’t it?”
The older woman nodded. “You’re right. He’s the guy. That’s him. You’re the guy who stopped the robbery at that gas station mart where you’d gone to buy some tampons for your girlfriend. You have a mustache now, but I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.” She pointed to Lexi. “Are you his girl?”
Lexi grinned, patting her mouth with a napkin. “I am. I’m that girl who needed the tampons.”
A small choking noise came from my throat, and I coughed once to clear it.
“Oh my goodness,” the woman gushed. “Your man singlehandedly saved everyone’s lives that day and trussed up the robber like a cooked goose before bringing home your goodies. I read the entire story in theGlobal Enquirerright after it happened.”
“That story was…in theGlobal Enquirer?” I choked again and this time took a large swig of champagne.
“It was. There were photos of you standing with the policeman in front of the mart and you were holding the tampon boxes. There were interviews with the cashier, the owner, and the police, who said you took down the robber all by yourself. There was shattered glass and bullet holes and Cheetos and potato chips scattered across the floor where you’d fought for your life and the lives of everyone in that mart. It was an amazing story. Iknewyou were famous.”
I glanced at Lexi, who had pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. I certainly wasn’t getting any help there. Better to nip this in the bud and hopefully they’d leave us alone.
I gave her a sheepish smile. “Ah, I’m afraid you have me, madam. But as that was months ago, and it really wasn’t that big of a deal, we’d appreciate it if you kept our little secret.”
The woman looked at me with widened eyes. “It certainly was a big deal, young man. You’re a real-life hero, putting your life on the line for the safety of others. Your humility is admirable, but for heaven’s sake, take credit where credit is due.”
Lexi smacked me on the arm, smiling widely. “Yeah, take credit where credit is due.”
I lifted an eyebrow, promising retribution later, as Maybelle lowered her voice. “Listen, I understand you’re embarrassed by the attention. The sign of a true hero. If you don’t want us to say anything, we won’t. Our lips are sealed.”
“Sealed,” the other lady agreed, nodding conspiratorially.
“I appreciate that,” I said.
Lexi was still chuckling as we took off, having forgotten, or at least ignoring, her fear of flying.
I took her hand, squeezing it lightly. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” I asked her softly.
“Nope,” she replied, shaking her head. “And you shouldn’t. You’re a hero to many, Slash. But more importantly, you’remyhero.”
Her words touched me because I knew she meant them. She was the most genuine person I’d ever met. As an adult, I’d been trained to lie, deceive, and even hurt people in the name of national security until I believed it was the only way to right a wrong or stop an evil. I thought all people acted deceitfully in one way or another. No, Iexpectedit. That distrustful, dark part of me still existed, but I’d changed after I met her. Not everyone was like that. What you saw with Lexi was what you got. She was blessedly authentic, intelligent, and loving. No games, no lies, no ulterior motives. Deceit simply wasn’t in her. It still surprised me that despite knowing the real me—darkness and all—she still loved me. She was unquestionably the best part of my life, and I couldn’t imagine living it without her.
The rest of the flight was blessedly quiet. We sat holding hands, watching movies, and napping. Slowly, the constant presence of coiled tension in my gut began to lessen, and I relaxed.
“Happy honeymoon,” I whispered to Lexi in the dim cabin as she began to drift off to sleep.
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