Page 116 of No Longer Mine

It didn’t seem to faze either Audrey or Carina. They shrugged at me as if to say oh well.

“So does this happen often?” I motioned to all of them with my glass. I hadn’t taken a sip out of mine yet. I hadn’t taken the painkillers in a few days. Though I still didn’t know if I trusted myself completely on the stairs just yet, and if I was tipsy? I knew I would be sleeping on the couch, which was the last place I wanted to be tonight. I wanted the warmth of my bed and possibly a vibrator to keep me company. I’d had to order new ones since Dimitri confiscated all of my others.

Audrey nodded, giddy. “Yes, the grannies love to take us out, though we aren’t allowed to go to the strip clubs anymore or the banana hammock restaurants.”

“Banana…” I shook my head. “Never mind.” I had a feeling I didn’t want to know.

I was being a little harsh on Dimitri for the leaving bit as he had left a note on my nightstand that said— You won’t be needing your toys anymore. If you need your fix, you call me and I’ll come take care of you.

I didn’t bother with texting him or calling as I felt shitty about his departure and then the new babysitter. Vance was easy on the eyes, but he didn’t say a single word and just stood there like a statue. It was creepy and boring. I would have preferred Don any day of the week. But I knew he was watching over Dimitri, and Dimitri probably needed him more than I did.

I wasn’t so sure now that these women had forced their way into my life.

“Tell us about yourself.” Audrey smiled as she crossed one leg over the other.

“Um, I don’t do these kinds of things.”

Carina’s lips curled. “You are perfect for Dimitri. You’re both steel vaults. I’ve been trying to get to know him for two years now. Do you know what I know about him? Everything from the press.”

“I made him tater tot casserole for dinner tonight.”

I sat up a little straighter. “You saw him tonight?”

Audrey’s grin was all-knowing. “You’re so far gone it isn’t even funny.”

Carina leaned into her. “I think it’s a little funny.”

Nana took a sip of her wine. “This is the best thing that could have ever happened to Dimitri. He’s been through entirely too much. He needs someone to love him.”

For some reason, I found myself frowning. Grandmother reached forward and grabbed my hand in hers—the comment from the other night about blood on my hands came to the forefront of my mind. “I think if anyone needs love, it’s our Scarlett here.”

“Oh, um,” I didn’t know what to say. “Maybe.”

“Everyone needs love. I was lost before Ace.” Carina leaned back and sighed happily.

Audrey’s lips twisted. “Alexei was lost before me.”

I swallowed hard, my fingers tightening around my wine glass. Love? That wasn’t in the cards for me. That wasn’t something I ever let myself think about—not in any real way. Love was for people who had the luxury of being soft. Of being safe.

Carina smirked at me, watching my reaction too closely. “That made you uncomfortable.”

I forced a light chuckle, but it felt hollow. “It’s just not something I spend much time thinking about.”

“Why not?” Audrey pressed, tilting her head like she was trying to figure me out. “You’re gorgeous, obviously intelligent, and I assume men trip over themselves for you.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Men trip over themselves because they’re idiots. That’s not love.”

Carina arched a brow. “So you’ve never been in love before?”

I lifted my wine glass to my lips, using it as a shield before murmuring, “No.”

Audrey’s face scrunched. “Not even puppy love? A silly little high school crush?”

I hesitated, thinking back to Vanewood, to the ways I’d been manipulated, the way my body had never truly felt like my own. The idea of love had been tainted for so long, warped into something ugly. I didn’t even know what real love looked like. The only men I’d ever had sexual relationships with were because I was using them, or they had used me. There was no romantic interest, not before Dimitri at least.

Grandmother squeezed my hand again, and when I met her eyes, there was something knowing in her gaze. Something kind. “Well, dear, you deserve it.”

My throat tightened. I took a sip of my wine to push it down.