Page 147
Story: Nanny and the Beast
If I were talking to any other person on the planet, I wouldn’t care to probe into their past. But it’s Emma. I want to know everything about her. Not just the things that make her happy but also the things that make her heart hurt.
“You used to go skating with your mother?” I ask.
Her eyes turn glassy. She nods and glances down at her feet.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “Every Sunday. She used to work six days a week, so I barely got any time with her. But every Sunday, she was all mine. We used to start the day with chocolate-chip pancakes, then head straight to the lake. We swam in the summers, but wintertime was my favorite. She taught me how to skate. She’s the reason I love skating so much.”
She exhales slowly, like she’s trying hard not to cry.
“She would be so proud of the woman you’ve become,” I say, squeezing her hand.
Emma looks up at me. She doesn’t bother to fight the tears anymore.
“No,” she says. “No, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t even recognize the woman I’ve become.”
She wipes her eyes with the back of her gloves.
“What about your father?” I ask her.
She turns unnaturally still.
Without looking at me, she says, “You couldn’t find anything about him in all your research, could you?”
I try to crouch to meet her eyes, but my balance won’t allow it. We’re still standing on ice. Instead, I tug her closer toward me and gather her hands in mine.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” I say.
“I never had a father, Klaus,” she says, looking up at me. “He might as well be an anonymous sperm donor.”
There are so many conflicting emotions in her eyes. So much pain, so much anger. It makes me restless to see her like this.
Before I can say anything, Rosalie barrels into Emma’s knees.
“You. Were.Awesome,” she shrieks. “Everyone was looking at you. Can you teach me how to spin like that?”
“Of course,” Emma replies. “We can practice when we’re back home.”
“I don’t want to wait until then,” Rosalie says. “Can you teach meright now?”
James joins us. His cheeks are red from the cold, and he’s breathing heavily. His much shorter legs mean he’s alwaystrying to catch up with his older sister, but he looks thrilled just to be here.
“Do you want to take a break, buddy?” I ask him.
“No, I want to skate forever,” he says, splaying his arms wide open and trying to do a spin like Emma. He almost makes it, but loses balance as he completes the spin, falling on his behind.
Instinctively, I reach toward him. His eyes widen as he stares at my outstretched hands. I hesitate when I feel everyone watching me. Blood pounds in my eardrums and my vision blurs.
James stands up quickly and gives me a big smile. He’s trying to make me feel better. He might be six years old, but he has more emotional intelligence than most adults I know.
I clear my throat. “Do you kids want something to eat?”
Rosalie shakes her head. “Can we skate for ten more minutes? It’s so much fun.”
James nods enthusiastically. “It’s the best.”
“Thank you for bringing us along on your trip, Uncle Klaus,” Rosalie says.
There’s adoration in her eyes that catches me off guard. I don’t remember the last time she looked at me like this. And when she’s smiling like this, I can’t help but be reminded of her mother.
“You used to go skating with your mother?” I ask.
Her eyes turn glassy. She nods and glances down at her feet.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “Every Sunday. She used to work six days a week, so I barely got any time with her. But every Sunday, she was all mine. We used to start the day with chocolate-chip pancakes, then head straight to the lake. We swam in the summers, but wintertime was my favorite. She taught me how to skate. She’s the reason I love skating so much.”
She exhales slowly, like she’s trying hard not to cry.
“She would be so proud of the woman you’ve become,” I say, squeezing her hand.
Emma looks up at me. She doesn’t bother to fight the tears anymore.
“No,” she says. “No, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t even recognize the woman I’ve become.”
She wipes her eyes with the back of her gloves.
“What about your father?” I ask her.
She turns unnaturally still.
Without looking at me, she says, “You couldn’t find anything about him in all your research, could you?”
I try to crouch to meet her eyes, but my balance won’t allow it. We’re still standing on ice. Instead, I tug her closer toward me and gather her hands in mine.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” I say.
“I never had a father, Klaus,” she says, looking up at me. “He might as well be an anonymous sperm donor.”
There are so many conflicting emotions in her eyes. So much pain, so much anger. It makes me restless to see her like this.
Before I can say anything, Rosalie barrels into Emma’s knees.
“You. Were.Awesome,” she shrieks. “Everyone was looking at you. Can you teach me how to spin like that?”
“Of course,” Emma replies. “We can practice when we’re back home.”
“I don’t want to wait until then,” Rosalie says. “Can you teach meright now?”
James joins us. His cheeks are red from the cold, and he’s breathing heavily. His much shorter legs mean he’s alwaystrying to catch up with his older sister, but he looks thrilled just to be here.
“Do you want to take a break, buddy?” I ask him.
“No, I want to skate forever,” he says, splaying his arms wide open and trying to do a spin like Emma. He almost makes it, but loses balance as he completes the spin, falling on his behind.
Instinctively, I reach toward him. His eyes widen as he stares at my outstretched hands. I hesitate when I feel everyone watching me. Blood pounds in my eardrums and my vision blurs.
James stands up quickly and gives me a big smile. He’s trying to make me feel better. He might be six years old, but he has more emotional intelligence than most adults I know.
I clear my throat. “Do you kids want something to eat?”
Rosalie shakes her head. “Can we skate for ten more minutes? It’s so much fun.”
James nods enthusiastically. “It’s the best.”
“Thank you for bringing us along on your trip, Uncle Klaus,” Rosalie says.
There’s adoration in her eyes that catches me off guard. I don’t remember the last time she looked at me like this. And when she’s smiling like this, I can’t help but be reminded of her mother.
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