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"Oh god,Jessie. No, that's a terrible idea. This is a school project, not adate."

"Yeah,but how else will he know you're intohim?"

"Idon't know.I wasn't planning on telling him. I was kinda hoping if I waited long enough, it'd just go away on itsown."

Jessie groaned."Wait until it goes away on its own. That's so like you." She threw her arm around his shoulder. "If you want something, you gotta grab it by theballs." She squeezed her hand into a tightfist.

He wincedas he imagined grabbing Parker's balls like that. "I don't know. I don't think so. I think I'll just see how thingsgo."

She shrugged."Okay. You wanna go getburgers?"

The rest of the day,Kell couldn't stop thinking about what Jessie had said.That's so like you. It was, and he knew it. But what the hell was he going to do? Fill the room with mood lighting and flowers? He had no idea how to suggest to Parker that he was into him, and he felt awkward about bringing anything up while working on the project. It would just make it uncomfortable, and it just wasn't appropriate. He didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Especiallyhimself.

So what ifhis fears had prevented him from being in a relationship his whole life? He was used to it. If nothing happened with Parker, which nothing would, then that would be fine. Life would goon.

Right?

He's an asshole,anyway,he thought.Who would want to be with someone like that? He wouldn't be a good mate. He doesn't care about anyone buthimself.

But no matterhow much he talked himself down, no matter how many things his mind came up with to try and convince him that Parker didn't care about him anyway, that there was no reason for him to continue liking him... the feeling did not go away. Just like back at school, it grew stronger. The aching desire that had taken hold of his heart tightened even further, and Kell found his thoughts entirely occupied by the icyalpha.

Washe really just going to ignore this feeling? He already had so many regrets. He'd made so many decisions—or avoided making so many decisions—because of the fear. Could he live with avoiding another? How much longer could he do this before losing his waycompletely?

By the timeParker's text message came through several hours later, he'd made up hismind.

PARKER:Need to take care of some things after work. Will be over a littlelater.

KELL:Ok.

And so hespent the rest of the time getting the placeready.