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Once they railed me really good and worked up to roughly my belly button with their massive cocks, in turns of course because they’re nothing if not polite, we became a massive heap in the middle of the living area, covered in various bodily fluids.

It felt like a moment I should imprint in my memory for safekeeping, because they were absolutely right in that I had already given up everything to be with them. Their argument was that my whole experience in space had been less than stellar (space joke!) and so they wished to try things the earthly way.

When I told them about puppies and kittens it was pretty much game over, so I think now our plan is to buy an over large home, because we can afford it, and get too many pets.

We figured something out that will help human women for generations to come: if they want to take their alien mate’s dick in full, all they have to do is **** ** ** *** *** next to baby unicorns. Sorry, it has been redacted, because apparently this is a galactic secret now. Highly sensitive information we’ve just gotten a patent on, which will make us even richer.

It was a miracle when we figured that out though, because it made taking any of them far easier than it had been before. Sowe have an incredibly fulfilling sex life, I get alien dick on the regular, and I get to have all the sweet little animals my heart can handle.

Bonus, I get to rub it in my ex-neighbor’s face (total bitch) that me having such terrible luck with men actually led to something pretty incredible. It might not have been Calvin’s doing that I found my happily ever after, but if it weren’t for him and all the other massive assholes I should never have bothered with, I’d have stayed on earth and continued on my path of self-destruction.

Now, I stand to be the happiest human woman in existence and also reap the benefits of eternal gratitude from multiple world and space leaders, so things are looking pretty great around here.

In the end, I didn’t get to be queen. That’s okay. It’s enough that I get three massive golden dicks to sit on at my leisure, and that they fucking worship me. That’s basically the same thing, right?

We’ll vacation to different stations when we feel ready to, but there’s no rush.

What did we learn?

If finding a partner on earth just isn’t working out and you’re at the end of your rope, try taking an alien for a whirl. You might be pleasantly surprised.

If that’s not an option for you, then I’ve got nothing except that cookie dough is pretty great?

PS.

If you are wondering what happened to Calvin, the being he had made a soul deal with turned him into goo, remotely. Very, very messily.

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