Page 209 of Murder in the Family

JJ NORTON

(after a pause)

Yes. Not that it’s any of your business. Or anyone else’s, frankly.

BILL SERAFINI

I agree. Unless, of course, you really are Caroline Howard’s long-lost son. Then it most certainlyisour business.

JJ NORTON

Well, I’m not. Happy now?

ALAN CANNING

Can you prove it?

JJ NORTON

If necessary. But frankly I don’t see why the hell I should have to—

LAILA FURNESS

(intervening)

I’m sorry, but I’m very uncomfortable with this – it’s getting perilously close to bullying. Nick did say some of usappearedto have connections to the case only it turned out to be pure coincidence. Maybe that applies to JJ—

ALAN CANNING

I just don’t know why he’s so reluctant to prove it.

LAILA FURNESS

But it might not be that easy.

He’d need to show us his original birth certificate with his biological mother’s name, which is a document he may not evenhave, and certainly may not want to share in public. It’s such a private thing.

ALAN CANNING

(tetchily)

I’m not asking to see any of that: all he needs to do is provide a DNA sample, which we can run against Guy’s. If they’re related, we’ll find out soon enough.

JJ NORTON

For fuck’s sake – you’re wasting your bloody time. It’snot me. And, no, I am fucking wellnotgiving you a bloody sample – it’s a gross invasion of privacy and you know it.

As he speaks he sits back and pulls down his sleeves. Alan watches him for a moment.

ALAN CANNING

(thoughtfully)

I’d forgotten about that tattoo.That’s your DNA profile, isn’t it?

JJ flushes but says nothing.

Maybe we can use that. I mean, you don’t exactly treat that thing as ‘private’, do you? It’s right there for any Tom, Dick or Harry to see.