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When my hand cramped, I shut off my phone and set my pencil down, realizing I heard absolutely… nothing.

It was the first time in my life where there wasn’t the sound of the neighbors down the hall screaming at each other, or horns blaring outside my window.

I inhaled deeply, not smelling car exhaust or pollution or somebody burning something on the stove next-door. Sure, there was age and a musty smell in the cabin, but I’d take that over all the polluted scents I was used to back home.

I rested back and closed my eyes, thinking for the hundredth time since arriving just yesterday that I wanted to live here, just burrow in deep, nestled away from everyone, and pretend like nothing else existed.

5

Marcella

Scratch-scratch-scrape. Scratch-scratch-scrape.

I pulled my sleeping bag up to my chin as I stared wide-eyed at the bedroom window. I’d been hearing that sound for the last ten minutes.

There was something outside the cabin, something big walking around the perimeter, its nails scraping over the boardwalk.

My mind said it was most likely a bear, which I knew there were plenty of in this part of the world before I’d made the trip. But a part of me had clearly been naïve in thinking I’d never come across one.

The footsteps were heavy, intermittently stopping as if the animal were checking out something before it resumed. And then I heard it come closer.

Scratch-scratch-scrape. Scratch-scratch-scrape.

I white-knuckled the hell out of the sleeping bag. I’d bought a bear repellent air spray in town, not sure if it would even work,but I’d been so tired when I went to bed last night, I totally forgot to grab it and keep it close.

No amount of videos I’d watched online about taking precautions and being safe on this trip could prepare me for living it.

And then thethump-thump, thump-thumpof its footsteps came closer before an enormous shadow passed across the bedroom window.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Ohshitshitshit.

I held my breath, pulled the sleeping bag up so that it completely covered my face and only my eyes were visible, and stared out the bedroom window.

That pane of glass wouldn’t keep anything out, especially a big ass Alaskan bear. Could it hear my heart racing? Oh God, couldn’t predators scent their prey’s fear?

I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the big beast right outside the window, yet not coming close enough that I could make anything out. It was too dark, the shadows too thick.

I knew sleep was most definitely not an option tonight.

I wasin a cranky mood and felt like shit as I shuffled out of the bedroom and veered right into the kitchenette.

The inside was cold as hell with the early morning frost lining the outside of the windows. Last night had been an epic fail of trial and error in lighting the wood-burning stove; but after far too many attempts, I finally got it working.

I grabbed a few pieces of cut lumber and got to work, starting another fire to warm the place up. Once it was going, I sat down in front of it and wrapped my sleeping bag fully around myself.

I was seriously rethinking this entire trip. After the bear incident last night, I realized I may have made a spur-of-the-moment decision regarding coming here without fully thinking it through.

I had no way of communicating with anyone if I needed help, and nobody would know if something happened to me until Harmond came and picked me up.

But despite worrying about all that, the fear I felt last night, and the reservations on what I’d actually been thinking about coming here, I was determined to make this the best experience possible.

Once I’d warmed up, I made a pot of coffee on the stove and sat back in front of the fire, holding the aluminum black and white speckled mug between my hands.

Falling back asleep after I heard the bear outside had been impossible. In fact, right now I was having serious reservations about stepping foot outside even if it was daylight and I was pretty sure it would be asleep by now.

But I couldn’t stay in the cabin my entire trip, and I didn’t want to be a prisoner while I was here, so I finished up my coffee and grabbed a quick breakfast. I got dressed, slipped on my red hooded peacoat, and then hesitantly opened the front door.

I peeked my head out but saw nothing destroyed, and when silence greeted me, I felt a little braver and stepped outside.