Page 109
Story: Mike
Little Joe? he mouthed incredulously.
Joe chose to ignore him.
“Uncle Shim,” she responded with a smile in her voice. “I don’t suppose Uncle Drew is anywhere nearby?”
“He’s right here. What’s wrong.” Her uncle’s voice went from welcoming to lethal in a blink.
Typical. Joe laughed. “Nothing’s wrong,” she assured him. “Just put your phone on speaker so we can all talk. I’ve got some news.”
He grumbled, but did as he was told, because in the next second, Uncle Drew’s gruff tone greeted her in the same way Shim had. “What’s going on Little?”
Joe, once again ignoring Mike’s obvious glee over the moniker, began laying things out for her uncles.
“Well… I know I’ve been off the grid, but I’ve actually been in Maine on assignment for the last few months.” She took a deep breath. “The big news, however, is that I’m leaving the DEA office in Nevada.”
“About fucking time,” Shim responded with a bark. “Your boss is a total dick.”
Joe blinked. “How did you?—”
“Listen, Little,” Shim came back. “We may be old, but we still have connections. We had the man investigated a number of years ago when you stopped being our normal, sunshiny girl. There was nothing overt in his records, but it was obvious he’s a glory-seeking narcissist.”
She could hear Drew agreeing.
“Every time you’ve visited since then, we’ve had a hard time not asking you, ‘what the hell’. But we knew you’d have to figure things out on your own if we wanted it to go away. It just took you a fucking long time to ditch that man’s sorry ass.”
Joe threw back her head and laughed. “I not only ditched his ass; I had help from local law enforcement to uncover some illegal undertakings he’s been involved in, and those activities will put the man in prison for the rest of his life.”
“Now that’s a story I want to hear.” Uncle Shim audibly smacked his lips.
“We’ll save that for later, if it’s okay. Because… I have something even better to tell you.”
“You’re pregnant,” Uncle Drew belted out of nowhere with a hopeful note.
Now Mike’s brows went wild.
“No. No. I’m not,” she responded. “Hold on a sec, will you?” She muted the phone before her uncles could say anything else, and attempted an explanation.
“They’ve been at me for the last few years to give them a grandbaby, citing the fact that they’re getting old and they want to see the next generation before they pass.”
“And they don’t care whether you have a partner to do that with?” Mike questioned.
“Nope. Artificial insemination advocates all the way, since I’ve given them little hope I’d find a man who could put up with me.”
Mike grabbed her around the waist and yanked her forward onto his prone body. “Well, you have a man, now,” he growled, “so maybe we should get started on giving your uncles some babies to love.”
“Who the hell is that?” Uncle Shim’s voice emerged from somewhere between them.
“Shplite.” Joe pushed up and scrambled for the phone. “I must have hit the button when you yanked me down.”
“Who yanked you?” Uncle Drew growled. “Do we need to come north and kick somebody’s ass?”
Joe snickered at the picture that conjured. “No, Uncles. Now listen up, please. This is the good news part of things I mentioned.” She cleared her throat. “Uncle Shim, Uncle Drew, meet Mike. He’s…”
“The man you love,” Mike put in, unabashedly making that announcement before she could explain him any other way.
There were twin grunts, then…
“Do you love her back?” Uncle Drew asked without skipping a beat, albeit with an edge to his voice.
Joe chose to ignore him.
“Uncle Shim,” she responded with a smile in her voice. “I don’t suppose Uncle Drew is anywhere nearby?”
“He’s right here. What’s wrong.” Her uncle’s voice went from welcoming to lethal in a blink.
Typical. Joe laughed. “Nothing’s wrong,” she assured him. “Just put your phone on speaker so we can all talk. I’ve got some news.”
He grumbled, but did as he was told, because in the next second, Uncle Drew’s gruff tone greeted her in the same way Shim had. “What’s going on Little?”
Joe, once again ignoring Mike’s obvious glee over the moniker, began laying things out for her uncles.
“Well… I know I’ve been off the grid, but I’ve actually been in Maine on assignment for the last few months.” She took a deep breath. “The big news, however, is that I’m leaving the DEA office in Nevada.”
“About fucking time,” Shim responded with a bark. “Your boss is a total dick.”
Joe blinked. “How did you?—”
“Listen, Little,” Shim came back. “We may be old, but we still have connections. We had the man investigated a number of years ago when you stopped being our normal, sunshiny girl. There was nothing overt in his records, but it was obvious he’s a glory-seeking narcissist.”
She could hear Drew agreeing.
“Every time you’ve visited since then, we’ve had a hard time not asking you, ‘what the hell’. But we knew you’d have to figure things out on your own if we wanted it to go away. It just took you a fucking long time to ditch that man’s sorry ass.”
Joe threw back her head and laughed. “I not only ditched his ass; I had help from local law enforcement to uncover some illegal undertakings he’s been involved in, and those activities will put the man in prison for the rest of his life.”
“Now that’s a story I want to hear.” Uncle Shim audibly smacked his lips.
“We’ll save that for later, if it’s okay. Because… I have something even better to tell you.”
“You’re pregnant,” Uncle Drew belted out of nowhere with a hopeful note.
Now Mike’s brows went wild.
“No. No. I’m not,” she responded. “Hold on a sec, will you?” She muted the phone before her uncles could say anything else, and attempted an explanation.
“They’ve been at me for the last few years to give them a grandbaby, citing the fact that they’re getting old and they want to see the next generation before they pass.”
“And they don’t care whether you have a partner to do that with?” Mike questioned.
“Nope. Artificial insemination advocates all the way, since I’ve given them little hope I’d find a man who could put up with me.”
Mike grabbed her around the waist and yanked her forward onto his prone body. “Well, you have a man, now,” he growled, “so maybe we should get started on giving your uncles some babies to love.”
“Who the hell is that?” Uncle Shim’s voice emerged from somewhere between them.
“Shplite.” Joe pushed up and scrambled for the phone. “I must have hit the button when you yanked me down.”
“Who yanked you?” Uncle Drew growled. “Do we need to come north and kick somebody’s ass?”
Joe snickered at the picture that conjured. “No, Uncles. Now listen up, please. This is the good news part of things I mentioned.” She cleared her throat. “Uncle Shim, Uncle Drew, meet Mike. He’s…”
“The man you love,” Mike put in, unabashedly making that announcement before she could explain him any other way.
There were twin grunts, then…
“Do you love her back?” Uncle Drew asked without skipping a beat, albeit with an edge to his voice.
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