Page 25

Yet we were there.
All four of us.
It had been Billy’s idea, and the rest of us went along with it because we had nothing better to do. We were just a group of kids in the thick of summer, listless in our suburban world of nice houses and manicured lawns. It was natural to want to push against the boundaries our parents had drawn for us.
We ended up getting more than we bargained for. Billy most of all. Possibly more than I ever could have imagined.
“Do you think this has something to do with that day?” I say, because one of us needs to. “We were there. And Billy ended up there again—this time dead—less than twenty-four hours later. That can’t be a coincidence.”
Ragesh, who’d been standing this whole time, kneels until he’s eye level with those of us on the couch. It’s a disarming gesture, which issurely the point. Something taught at the police academy to put people at ease.
“I understand why you’d jump to that conclusion,” he says, although it’s not a jump at all. It’s a half step at best, taking me from one fact—our presence at the falls—to another: Billy’s body was found there. “But there seems to be no correlation between what happened that afternoon and Billy’s abduction.”
“Other than you, does anyone else investigating this thing even know we were there that day?” I say, jarred by the realization that none of us talked with each other about what happened that day after Billy was taken. “I mean, all those years ago, did anyone tell the police about that afternoon?”
“I didn’t,” Ashley says. “I think I mentioned we were all in the woods, but not specifically where.”
“Same,” Russ says.
And it was the same with me. Despite being interviewed by so many cops, detectives, and agents that they became a blur of blue and khaki, I never mentioned we’d been at the falls or on the grounds of the Hawthorne Institute. I’d like to think it’s because I was scared of getting myself and others in trouble, but I know the real reason is because I felt guilty. Just like I’m sure the others did. About what happened while we were there. About how we treated Billy. And while it feels inexcusable in hindsight, back then I didn’t think what happened that day had anything to do with Billy’s disappearance.
That’s no longer the case.
“So the police back then didn’t know we were there,” I say. “Or that Billy was there. Do they know now?”
We all look to Ragesh, the actual cop in the room, who nods and says, “I mentioned it today.”
“And everyone still thinks it’s unrelated?” I say.
“Our gut instinct—mygut instinct—is that there’s no reason to think Billy’s death is connected to anyone associated with the institute.”
Ragesh stands, done with trying to put us at ease when I need it now more than ever. The pernicious floating sensation resumes. Caught off balance, I lurch to the side, bumping shoulders with Ashley. She reaches for my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“Why not?” I say.
“Because technically we didn’t do anything wrong that day,” Ragesh says. “Yes, we were somewhere we shouldn’t have been. But we were just a bunch of kids messing around. And we didn’t see anything forbidden or suspicious.”
“But don’t you think it’s the least bit strange that’s the place where Billy ended up?”
“Itisstrange,” Ragesh concedes, “if you don’t stop to consider that a lake in a remote area where few people have access is the most convenient place in a ten-mile radius to dump a body.”
Next to me, Ashley blanches. “Jesus, Ragesh. You don’t need to be so blunt about it.”
“Murderisblunt.” Ragesh crosses his arms and stares her down. “Billy was taken from the tent, killed, and his body was dumped in a lake. That’s the brutal truth.”
“Brutal” is the perfect word to describe it. Billy was just a boy. And what happened to him is so brutal that, like Ashley earlier, I think I’m about to be sick. I take a deep breath and swallow hard, determined to keep it together at least until everyone else leaves.
“Are there any suspects?” Ashley says.
“None that I’m allowed to tell you about,” Ragesh says, inadvertently answering her question. Yes, there are indeed suspects.
Russ leans forward, elbows on his knees. “What about the stranger who’d been seen in the neighborhood?”
“That was all conjecture. No one knows if there was really someone roaming the woods.”
“But it still could have been him, right?”
“We’re looking into every possibility,” Ragesh says.