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Jules pushed to sit up, wincing at the pain. Her shoulder and arm hurt, and her entire body felt as though she’d been beaten.
“Here, let me help you.” Picking her up as if she were a child, Ash propped her against the headboard. “How are you feeling?”
The correct answer was “weak and vulnerable.” They were two of her most hated emotions and ones she had fought too hard to let take over. Taking a breath, she said, “A little tired but okay.”
“There’s no shame in being overwhelmed or scared.”
There was for her. She had spent almost two years being terrified of everything and everyone. Returning to that mentality, even for a few moments, was something she refused to allow.
So why were tears coming from her eyes?
Ash’s arms encircled her, and Jules gave in. Burying her face against his chest, she let go of the horror and the fear from the night before. That moment, when she’d plunged the knife into Renee and felt her body go limp, would remain in her memory forever. That she’d had no choice made little difference. Maybe in time she’d be able to see things from a clearer perspective, but for right now, she needed this time to come to grips with taking a life.
Ash held her close, not asking questions or even giving empty platitudes. He just held her, which was exactly what she needed.
Several minutes later, Jules took a deep breath and pulled away. “I’m sorry. That’s probably not what you expect from an OZ operative.”
“You lose your humanity, you lose everything. You saved my life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t regret the way things happened.”
She shuddered out another breath. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She couldn’t tell him that she’d often had nightmares about his death. Asher Drake had come close to dying many times, but she felt that only one of those times was her fault.
“And keep in mind that as messy as it was, we saved lives last night. Rhinehart was set on killing as many people as he possibly could. If we’d let him leave, he would have found a way to succeed.”
“How was it possible that the man was even alive?”
“That’s something I’m sure people are asking each other today.”
“People know about it?”
“Only the ones who need to know. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Rhinehart died in that blast two years ago.”
“Does it ever get to be too much for you? Seeing evil every day and knowing that for every monster you take down, there are a hundred more out there?”
“On occasion. But when I focus on what I can do in that moment, it helps.”
Feeling a thousand times better for having talked about it, Jules drew completely away from Ash. “How’s Omar doing?”
“Better than he deserves, that’s for damn sure.”
“Maybe he learned a lesson.”
“Won’t make him less evil, but he does owe Humphrey a favor, so there’s that.”
“So what now?”
“Omar was a little loopy when we left, but I imagine I’ll be hearing from him soon. He’ll want to make sure the auction goes well since his brilliant idea was such a debacle.”
“How did you know it would work—the helicopter thing?”
“I know what paranoid looks like. All he needed was a little help to tip him over.”
“Were you hurt? I kind of lost focus after…everything.”
“No. Not even a bruise, thanks to you.” He stood and glanced over his shoulder. “I ordered breakfast. You feel up to eating?”
“Maybe after a shower.”
He touched her shoulder. “Mind if I check your cuts?”