Page 69

“I didn’t know you liked horses,” I say, choosing to announce my presence.
To both of their credit, neither the horse nor Marco startles. Marco produces a treat from his pocket, and the horse nibbles at it enthusiastically.
Stepping inside the barn, I let the horse sniff my fingers. The velvet of its lips tickles my palms, and when it gives me a friendly little nibble as well, I laugh.
“Elio’s family had horses. I grew up riding them.”
“Elio’s family?” I raise my eyebrows.
Marco nods. “We were close, as kids. Each of us being the heir to our respective families gave a unique perspective on things, and it’s hard to find people who occupy a similar space.”
“Your siblings?”
Shaking his head, Marco puts his hands in his pockets. “They’re part of why it’s a unique space.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighs. “It’s hard to explain. And I think that Liam might understand, somewhat.”
“I’m a slight smarter than my brother, you know,” I say dryly.
“Of that I have no doubt.”
Marco’s quiet for a moment. I look at the horse, leaning forward to pet its forehead.
“You feel responsible for them,” I say, guessing at the kind of turmoil he’s hinting at.
“I am responsible for them.”
“Even now? They’re grown, with families and children of their own to look after,” I murmur. Part of it is reality, but part of it is my own experience.
I don’t want Liam looking after me forever, after all.
In fact, I don’t want him looking after me in the slightest.
“In this world, I will always be responsible for them,” he says softly.
Something in his voice feels… hard.
“But you don’t want that,” I say, again, reading between the lines of his words. “You don’t want to be responsible for them. Not anymore.”
Marco is silent.
I sigh, dropping my hand from the horse. “If it helps, I’d rather no one be responsible for me.”
“Yeah?” he sounds amused.
I nod, emphatically. “It’s a kind of torture, I think.”
“How so?”
“Because, it’s infantilizing. How am I supposed to be my own person, to exist as myself, if I’m constantly being told that someone else is responsible for me? Liam isn’t in charge of my decisions. He’s alright. Not a bad one, I suppose. But Kieran…” my voice trails off.
Kieran was anything butalright.
“Being at the whims of a sociopath was a specific kind of misery, Marco. I don’t want people to be responsible for me. I am responsible for myself, and that’s the way it’s going to be,” I say.
Marco snorts. “Well, good luck with that.”