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“Sure, shoot. What’s up?”

“I, uh…” I wasn’t entirely sure how to frame my question and I considered taking it back, but I already started the conversation. “I was wondering if you thought it was possible for someone not to realize they were gay until they were in their thirties?”

My face flushed as his eyebrows quirked. This was a stupid idea. I could have just looked it up online. Though that lacked any genuine appeal, since I wasn’t sure what articles were real or made up. I wished I had friends I was more comfortable asking, but aside from Hendrix, there wasn’t anyone I felt I could talk to. And I didn't want to ask him. It was embarrassing enough to admit I’d never been with anyone but Val.

To his credit, Henry didn’t look weirded out or judgmental. He pondered the question, his head tipped slightly and his eyes narrowed at the wall.

“I mean, it’s always possible. Some people are sheltered or uneducated with regards to different types or relationships. Then they become adults and realize there’s something more out there than what they’re used to and it can be a shock to the system. Really, sexuality isn’t black and white. It’s a spectrum, kind of like gender. You can be bisexual, with a heavy preference towards one gender but still interested in another. You can like both genders equally. You can be pansexual and open to all gender identities. It really just depends on you. And until a person explores their options, it wouldn’t really be surprising that they didn’t figure out their preferences until later.”

“A-Are you…?”

He lifted his shoulder. “I’d say I fall under 90% straight. I’ve got a preference for women, but I don’t think I’d ever fully discount men. I like to keep my options open.” He studied me, raising his eyebrows. “I take it you’re questioning your sexuality?”

Frowning, I looked down at my mostly finished lunch. He was being kind, and I was curious about exploring the whole spectrum idea, but I was still embarrassed that I didn't figure any of this out sooner.

Henry’s hand rested lightly on my forearm. “Hey. There’s no judgment from me. If you didn’t know before now, then there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no age limit for knowing what you’re into.”

Clearing my throat, I nodded my head slightly. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

He gave my arm a squeeze before releasing me and turning back to his lunch. “No problem. I’m glad you felt comfortable talking to me about this. I try to portray myself as an ally, but Ididn’t want to assume your sexuality either way. You let me set you up with Tyrese a few months back, but I didn’t know if you were just being polite or not. Kinda felt like you went along with it because I was whining and you didn’t want to make things awkward.”

The reminder of my one other date with a man made me wince. That date had been beyond awkward. I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t curious, but it was mostly forced conversation and awkward tension. Nothing at all like what I experienced with Hendrix.

“Oh god, you were just being nice, weren’t you?” Henry whimpered.

I shook my head quickly. “No. Well, I mean kind of. I wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of a blind date, but I was also curious. I went because I wanted to see if I could figure things out on my own. To say I failed miserably would be an understatement.”

“Yeah, Tyrese told me the date wasn’t great. He’s a nice guy, but if there were no sparks, then that probably didn’t help answer your questions, huh? What tipped the scales, if you don’t mind me asking?”

My face flushed as Hendrix on stage popped into my head. That first concert had been an eye opener. Instant attraction, full-blown crush in seconds, and my first time touching myself at the thought of a man when I got home later that night.

Henry’s eyes lit up, and he practically bounced in his seat. “Are you seeing someone? Is that what made you start questioning things?”

My cheeks burned hotter, and I considered lying and saying my lunch was over to escape. I couldn’t do that, though. Henry was being kind, and I didn’t want to offend him after he was nice enough to have an honest conversation with me.

“I, uh… Yes. I’m seeing someone.”

“And I’m guessing it’s going well?” he grinned, waggling his eyebrows.

Thankfully, before I had to answer that question, someone else pushed into the room. Henry lifted his chin in greeting before swinging back to me, his voice low.

“I wanna hear about it later. We should hang out sometime. It’s hard to make friends in this stuffy office and my work wife bailed for a better offer. I need a new work bestie.”

As awkward as the conversation had been, I appreciated his help, and I liked the idea of having a friend at work. We exchanged numbers, and I went back to my desk with a smile on my face.

I couldn’t help but think Hendrix had a lot to do with the changes in my life. I was making friends because of him, exploring the city on our dates, and truly enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. Usually, the only time I could say I was having fun was with Sophie. I liked the changes, and I contemplated a way to thank him for drawing me out of my shell a little. Even if we didn’t last forever, I would appreciate the efforts he made. He deserved a little recognition for that.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

HENDRIX

We’d metwith seven potential new guitarists already and still hadn’t found one that fit yet. I worked hard in my free time to master guitar and vocals, but even I could admit I struggled. My guitar skills were more for keeping rhythm than all out leading. We needed someone new to round out the music better.

It was frustrating, to say the very least. I even considered for a minute asking my dad for help, but I squashed that down the minute it crossed my mind. Dad was a decent guitar player, but he wasn’t serious. He was flaky and wouldn’t want to play anything that didn’t fit him completely. I wasn’t going to even pretend that was an option.

“Thanks for coming. We’ll let you know.”

The guy who came to meet us, a quiet gargoyle named Aldrik, nodded his head politely and followed Laz out the door. After he was gone, we all let out heavy sighs, and I sank against the cushions of the couch.