Page 27 of Lost and Found
I leave Arden downstairs and head for Paige. As I enter the dark bedroom with all the shades pulled, I make my way over to Paige where she’s still asleep. I take the moment to drink her in, to memorize her, because at the end of this, is our goodbye. I sit lightly on the bed and she stirs. Her eyes open slightly and find mine. A blush feels her cheeks before the tears spring into her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Arden called me and explained everything. I just needed to make sure that you aren’t experiencing any kind of head pain right now,” I explain to her. She shakes her head while mumbling no. “Okay, that’s good. Then I can go.” I stand up and every bone in my body is telling me that leaving is a mistake, but I know it’s not. I want to stay, but I can’t. I’m not even sure why I came over here. I could have told Arden to call me once she woke up if she was experiencing pain.
I’m at the door when Paige speaks. “Does this mean I’m released from your care?” she asks.
Clearing my throat, I take a minute to compose my voice and answer. “You may need one more follow up, but I’ll get you set up with Dr. Garcia.”
“Reid…”
I shake my head and turn around to do the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life. Let Paige go. “Paige, it’s okay. You need time. Your world was just turned upside down. Everything you ever knew has been changed. You need time to adjust and mourn. I understand that. I understand that we can’t see one another anymore and I agree with that. Just know that if you ever need anything, I’m around. I wish you the best,” I tell her, while looking into those blue eyes so she’ll know I meant every word. I give her the best smile I can muster and walk out of the room, leaving my heart behind while Paige’s breaks again.
Epilogue
5 months later
Paige
The last five months have been incredibly difficult, but also very eye-opening. I have found an inner strength in me that I had forgotten I possessed. I have been through hell and back with Arden by my side to remind me that I’m capable of overcoming anything.
Within a week of regaining my memories, I had found myself an actual job. Not one my best friend gave to me because I had an empty head. I got a job as a teaching assistant. The job will turn into a full-time teaching position at the beginning of the next school year. I enjoy what I do, but I’d be lying if I said I’d only left the clinic because Arden handed me the job. No, part of it was because the subject that we had yet to mention…Reid.
I thought of him often, more than I care to admit, but he was right when he left that day. In the last five months, I’ve found my job, an apartment near downtown and the beach, purchased my first car on my own, and mourned the loss of my husband and son.
Right after my memories came back, I found myself lost in a sea of guilt and built Codi up to seem like the perfect husband. Arden was there to remind me that while he was a good husband, he wasn’t perfect and I couldn’t fully be held accountable when I had no memories.
Codi and Corey had been buried together on the Reynolds’ estate, a place that I found I was not welcome to go. I wasn’t allowed on the property, which shouldn’t have shocked me considering they never approved of me. But what kind of people would keep a mother from seeing her son, or a wife from her husband? I had to come to terms with that, so I did the only thing I could.
I bought balloons and wrote memories as well as messages of love and apology on them. Then I drove out to the spot on the beach where we picnicked often and released them. Afterward, I felt as if I had been granted some closure, but I would always carry them and my unborn child’s memory with me.
These past five months have taught me so much. I had always been the girl to go after what she wanted, but for a few years there I lost sight of her. Losing my memories brought her back to me and I was keeping her.
Once I was able to actually smile and laugh again without feeling guilty every time, I knew I was healing. I knew that I could move on, which is what has brought us here today.
Arden is working with the local hospital to give flu shots as winter comes upon us. I promised her I’d come and get one, but I also have an agenda of my own. As I pull up, I take a deep breath and give myself a quick pep talk. Once I’m done, I remind myself it’s now or never. So, I get out of my car and march into the large white tent set up in front of the hospital.
I spot Arden and she smiles at me, but she has a line of patients. Then I see him. It’s only been a few months, but the sight of him makes me weak in the knees. Seeing him now makes it feel like our time apart was so much longer.
The nurse at the table with the name tag that reads, Elena on it smiles at me as I approach. Then her eyes grow wider. “I’m here for my flu shot.”
“Great!” she tells me. She takes my money and gives me a ticket before telling me. “You’re going to be with Dr. Reid, just behind me here.” I smile at her. “You can thank me later.”
“Or now, thank you,” I tell her, as I march to the end of Reid’s line. Finally, I take my seat and I know the moment that Reid notices who is sitting in his stool because he freezes in his movements, but I give him credit, he recovers quickly.
“Good afternoon, here for your flu shot?” he asks. My voice is suddenly gone, so I nod and hand him my ticket. “Please, have a seat and remove your jacket.” I do as I’m told. Reid wipes over my skin with an alcohol wipe and despite the chill of the wipe, my body is flushed. I forgot how right Reid’s touch felt. “Okay, you’re going to feel a slight prick.”
All too soon he steps away from me. “Thank you,” I say breathlessly.
“No problem.” His eyes linger on mine, reminding me how much I miss him.
He turns away and suddenly I find my courage. “Reid?” He turns around. “Do you have a break coming up?”
He’s about to answer, when a voice comes from behind him. “Yes, right now actually.” When Reid turns around, I see Elena standing behind him.
Reid chuckles while removing his gloves and disposing of them. He leads us out of the tent and into the hospital cafeteria where we both get a cup of steaming hot coffee. We take a seat and sit in silence for a moment. “You look great, Paige. How have you been?”
“I’ve been good considering.” Reid nods his head. “I actually came here today to see you.” He gives me a confused look and I smile back at him. “You said if I ever needed anything,” I tease him, and we both laugh. Then my tone turns serious. “You were right when you said I’d need time. I did, but now I’m ready to move on. I don’t know where you stand right now, but I do know that I miss you so much. I wish we could have met under different circumstances, but we didn’t, and I hate that we lost time. But I’d like to make it up, if you’d like to.”
I hold my breath while I wait for him to reply. “How do you know you’re ready?”
I smile at him. “I’m at peace. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss them both. I still question why I survived and not them. I still have days when I cry, but most days I’ve made peace with it all. I’ll miss them every day for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to miss you too. This life is too short to miss the people we could have in ours. I don’t want to add you to the list of people I miss. I want to add you to the list of people I love.”
I sit back. I’ve laid it all out on the table. The ball is in his court. He stands up and I close my eyes because apparently, this is our final goodbye, even though I was hoping it wouldn’t be. I guess he’s moved on as well. With my eyes closed, I count to ten waiting to open them, but when I reach three, I feel lips on mine. Lips I know and have dreamed about these past months. When they pull away, my eyes spring open and meet his dark hazel ones. His smile big. “Why’d you kiss me?”
“Because I wanted to,” he tells me. “Now, how about a banana split with extra hot fudge sauce?” He stands up and extends his hand out to me. I slip mine into his, where it belongs. I can’t fight the smile on my face as we walk out of the hospital, the spot where our story began, but definitely didn’t end.