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I wondered if that made it worse for her. To remember what magic feels like but not be able to connect with it. I waited to see if she would say anything else about it, but she didn’t.

I was thinking again of telling Raven the truth—about the bear king, Lila, the stone, all of it. But when I opened my mouth, the words didn’t come.

Was it that the risk to our mission was too great or admitting my true intentions would be too awkward?Umm, Raven, since you have the only map in Eastlandra that leads to the powerful Zavien stone, do you mind telling me where it is so I can hand it over to the bear king who’s been acting kind of shifty lately? Great, thanks. By the way, I’m engaged.

It was a conversation I was hoping to avoid. But how long could I avoid it?

“Let’s get some sleep,” I said instead, burying the thoughts. “We still have a long way to go before we get to the Ruins of Javan in the mountain foothills.”

“Doesn’t one of us need to keep watch?” Raven asked, listening to a wolf howling in the distance.

“Don’t worry, Kah’s always on alert. He’ll wake up if anything gets near our camp.” He hadn’t failed me yet with his ability to detect approaching threats, even in his sleep.

Raven seemed to accept this because she yawned and lay down by the fire. For a while, she hummed softly. Her voice wassweet and sad like a nightingale’s, the melody offering solace to my tired muscles and making my chest swell with hope. Even the dry grasses seemed to bend toward her, like they’d caught word of spring in the winter air.

Soon, though, Raven’s breathing became deep and rhythmic, and Kah curled into a snoring ball. But I couldn’t sleep. Propping my arm under my head, I stared at the missing chunk of the moon that had been there just the night before. The new moon was fast approaching.

I reached for the pendant underneath my shirt, closed my eyes, and let my thoughts travel home. In the summer, Lila and I had slept under the stars one night. I’d awoken at dawn to her body pressed against mine, my fingers tangled in her blonde hair, the taste of her sweet honey scent on my lips. That felt so long ago now.

After months of being gone, I was finally on my way back to Askeland, but I’d never felt so far away from home.

25

Raven

When the Ruins of Javan appeared on the horizon right before sunset two days later, my feet were dragging.

“We’ll camp there for the night,” Jeddak said, pointing into the distance.

Skies, it could still take half a day to get there, I thought despairingly. At this point, muscles I didn’t even know I had were throbbing relentlessly, my feet were swollen, and my whole body ached with exhaustion. After months in the mine, I was used to hard labor, but not trekking long distances in the winter elements. After only a few days on the road, I felt like an abused ragdoll.

Jeddak didn’t seem affected. He trekked steadily down the rough road beside Kah like there was an invisible string pulling him home. In fact, he seemed to get stronger and more resilient the closer we got to the mountains. I envied him.

I couldn’t tell him there was little chance I’d make it to the ruins tonight without collapsing. When I’d asked him to let me come with him to Askeland, I’d promised him I could keep upthe pace. And Iwould. I just didn’t realize how broken my body was after being a prisoner for so long.

Remember, you are strong, Hen’s voice sounded in my head, giving me a bit of renewed energy.

Jeddak was several paces ahead now. Was he moving faster, or was I moving slower? A steady cold wind blew from the mountains in front of us, acting like a giant hand pushing me backward.

When I tried to catch up with him, my foot snagged a tree root. I stumbled to the ground, hard.

Jeddak must have heard me because in an instant, he was jogging back with Kah right behind him. “Are you all right? What happened?”

“I—” I started, but the breath was knocked out of me, and I couldn’t seem to find the answer.

Jeddak knelt beside me and touched my arm. “Raven, are you hurt?” I thought he’d be frustrated for slowing us down, but to my surprise, his voice was filled with concern.

“No,” I said, finding my voice. “I think—” I rubbed my ankle. It was sore but not painful. “I think I’m fine.”

“Can you stand?”

No. Now that I was sitting down, I didn’t see how I could possibly force my legs to hold my weight again. “Yes,” I lied, though I wasn’t sure my strained tone convinced him. “I just need a minute.”

Jeddak pulled the waterskin from his pack and handed it to me. His hair had fallen into his eyes. I suddenly had the urge to use my fingers to brush it back.

“We can’t stay here long,” he said after I’d taken a few long sips. “We’re too exposed. We haven’t seen any signs of the Rathalans yet, but that doesn’t mean they’re not tracking us.”

It was that same fear that had kept me looking over my shoulder the whole day. “All right, let’s go,” I said, gritting my teeth to fight the exhaustion.