Page 34
Story: Life After
Jen scoffed. “I wish it was the only thing that mattered.”
Denise studied Jen. “You’re going to tell her, aren’t you?”
“I…am. I think I have to, Mum. I know what I want, and I know Suzanne is serious about us being together, so to me, the sensible thing to do is come clean. We know far more about one another now than we did in the early days. If I was in Suzanne’s position, I’d appreciate knowing what had happened last year.”
“Would it change anything for you if Suzanne came to you to explain she’d spent time in prison?”
Jen pondered that for a moment, chewing her lip as she did so. “You know what, it wouldn’t change anything. Certainly not how I felt about her, anyway. I’d have questions, of course I would, but it’s not something I would let come between us. I’m too invested in her now, Mum. Being honest isalwaysbetter than holding something in. You surely understand where I’m coming from.”
“I do, love. I understand completely.” Denise squeezed Jen’s hand and smiled. “I just think it’s important that you prepare yourself for the possibility of her not taking it very well. She may be angry and upset, so you need to prepare for that.”
“I know. I’m not expecting her to give me a round of applause, that’s for sure.” Jen didn’t want this to rest on her shoulders anymore. While they were together, prison wasn’t something that even hinted at crossing her mind. But the moment Jen was alone in her work van, it crept back in. The guilt, the idea of being dishonest, the need to be forthcoming with the truth. “I feel as though we’re at a place where she’s less likely to react really badly to it. I guess now I just have to hope that I’m not wrong.”
“I can’t tell you what the right thing to do is. I wish I knew the answers, and I wish this wasn’t something you even had to deal with, but you’re sensible, and you’ll know when the time is right.”
“I have to do this tonight. I need it out of my life.” Jen lowered her head to her hands, anxiety beginning to creep in. “So long as I don’t talk myself out of it by the time I get there, then it’s happening tonight.”
Denise nodded and rose to her feet, gathering the plates on the table. “And if you do talk yourself out of it, that’s okay. This is a huge decision.”
Jen looked up at her mum. “Is it, though? Does it really have to be something huge?”
“Unfortunately, things like this usually are, Jen. But I think you’re right. I think Suzanne is going to take it far better than you likely realise.” Denise approached Jen and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You’re inseparable at the moment. That’s not going to end.”
Jen lay a hand on her mum’s where it rested on her shoulder and smiled. “I hope you’re right. And if not, if this goes terribly wrong, then at least I came clean before we could really break one another’s hearts.” Jen eyed her phone when it buzzed on the table, grinning at Suzanne’s name. “Speak of the devil.”
“I’ll let you deal with that. Cuppa before you leave?”
Jen nodded. She could do with a brew while she got her head around the sudden decision she’d made tonight. “Yes, please. That sounds lovely.”
I hope you know I’m missing you terribly.
Jen felt her cheeks heat as she read the message repeatedly. Whenever Suzanne said things like that to her, itdidencourage Jen to talk herself out of what needed to be done. The mere thought of Suzanne turning her back on Jen was one that had kept her awake once or twice. Still, this was important. It wasimperativeif Jen truly wanted to move on with her life.
She puffed out her cheeks and responded to Suzanne.
Not for much longer, babe. I’ll be heading over soon.
With a mildly shaking hand, Jen lowered her phone to the table again and gave herself a few minutes to understand the severity of what could potentially happen tonight. Either she would remain in a relationship, or she would be coming back here with a heart that had been ripped from her chest. Because that would be the outcome if Suzanne turned her back on Jen. She would betrulydevastated.
Just do the right thing. You’ll feel better for it.
Suzanne turnedher watch towards herself, checking everything was as it should be. Tonight she was making things official, and the sooner Jen arrived, the sooner Suzanne could say what she needed to say. Even though Suzanne was almost certain Jen knew where they stood with one another, she wanted to say it out loud and officially make Jen hers. For a long time to come, if Suzanne had things her way.
The doorbell sounded, shocking her out of the wonderful thoughts drifting through her mind. All relating to Jen, all thoughts she would act upon once she knew it was safe to do so. Right now, Suzanne’s only hope was that Jenwason the same page as her. That shedidwant to be exclusive. It had always been an unspoken rule of Suzanne’s, but perhaps Jen was waiting for them to discuss it.
With a huge smile plastered on her mouth, Suzanne rushed out into the hallway and opened the front door. “Hi. Come in.”
Jen stepped inside, offering Suzanne a kiss on the cheek as she always did. “Sorry, I hoped to be here sooner. I got caught up talking to Mum.”
Suzanne held Jen’s wrist as she tried to step past her, choosing to help herself to another kiss before they locked up for the evening. “Never apologise for spending time with your mum. I’m fully aware that I’ve practically stolen you from her over the last several weeks.”
Jen shrugged. “I don’t mind, and neither does she.”
Suzanne smiled against Jen’s lips, grateful for all of the time Jen had given to her since they’d met. “Then I guess that’s that.”
Jen drew back a little and searched Suzanne’s eyes. “I guess it is. Come on, it’s cold out in the hallway.” She took Suzanne’s hand, kicking off her shoes before she stepped onto the carpet, and then tugged her inside the back living room. “Could we…talk about something tonight?”
Suzanne frowned. “Yes. But I think I know where this is going, so I’d like to say a few things first if that would be okay?”
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