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“A solid heart,” he amended.

I knew what he was doing, and I almost believed him.

“Actually.” I shuffled closer. “I think it’s shaped like a real one.”

“That’s because itis.”

I sat up, blinking away the sudden tears. Aire rose beside me, sweeping aside my hair. “What’s here?” he asked, concerned. “What is amiss?”

“I-I don’t want to lose you.”

I don’t deserve you.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He tipped my chin toward him. “I am not going anywhere.”

“The month is almost over. We made a pact. You said you would—”

“I will not,” he decided. “As the First Knight, I have jurisdiction to make judgment calls. You are a trespasser, but you are not a criminal. Not to me.”

“You believe people who are wrong stay wrong. You don’t believe they can change.”

“My beliefs have been biased, borne of tragedy, yet that is no longer what I think, for I wouldn’t be a fair and true knight if I did. I knew this once, but in my grief, I’d forgotten.” His finger charted the slope of my jaw. “You have reminded me, and for that, I am grateful.”

He mulled over something else. “However, I must go back with Nicu. You may stay as long as you need, and later, when I’ve served whatever retribution the Royal family has in store for me, I shall come back to see you. Or perhaps by then, you will have found what you seek, and you will return to the lower town. If so, I shall wait for you there.” His lips brushed the tip of my nose. “I shall wait for you, always.”

I sniffled. “You want me?”

He gave me a lopsided smile. “Do you think me the sort of man who would come to your bed and then cast you aside?”

“But I just—”

Cradling my face, he said, “Of course, I want you.”

“But I—”

“But nothing. You make me laugh. I have fun with you, I enjoy sparring with you, and I have confessed my fears to you. You frustrate and shock me, yet you bring me solace. You remind me there is life beyond death, that goodness and badness breed the purest, truest souls. I want your faults and strengths. Of course, I want you, Aspen.”

Yes. Silly Aspen.

Aire wouldn’t tumble a girl and then take off. He didn’t give himself freely or take freely.

Happiness. That’s what this was.

And guilt. And love. And guilt. And hope. And guilt.

“Where are you going?” he asked when I began scrambling into my clothes.

“Into the woods,” I answered, instantly anxious. “I need to search. Now.”

“I shall go with you.”

Shrugging on my hooded cape, I crawled over to him. “No.” I kissed him once. “I need to do this alone.”

I’d needed to do this alone from the very beginning. I didn’t have that much time, either. I’d been gone long enough, with no inkling if Mother was well. She needed me. I needed her.

I needed to find an ending.

And then I would tell Aire the truth.