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“About hanging out with Jessica?”

“Yes.”

“About being alone with Jessica?”

“Yes.”

“About being isolated in an apartment where you used to make love to Jessica?”

I cringe because yes, that’s exactly what I’m worried about.

“Is it bad if I say yes?”

“Can I ask you something?” Clara answers my question with a question. She’d make a good government official.

“Sure.”

“Do you think about her when you masturbate?”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever think about anyone else?”

“Not really.”

“Have you slept with anyone since her?”

“Is it bad if I say no?”

“I knew it!” Clara squeals. “You are still in love with her.”

To be honest, I’m not sure if I ever stopped being in love with her. I want to pretend like I don’t care. I want to pretend like nothing matters and that the world is a terrible place and that whether Jessica and I ever work things out is irrelevant, but it’s not. And now that Clara knows, I can’t keep lying to myself.

“I wouldn’t call it love.”

“No? What would you call it? Obsession?”

“Maybe.” Shit. I’m almost at her place. I still don’t know what I’m going to do when I get there, but I’m nervous, and we still have the entire night together.

“Look.” Clara’s voice takes a serious turn, and I realize that she’s actually going to offer me some real advice. Good. I can use it. “I don’t know what all happened between you two. I’m not asking. I’m sure you’ve got a handle on things. What I am going to say is that tonight is your chance at a fresh beginning.”

“Meaning?”

“Just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?”