Page 74
Story: Lela's Choice
“Lela.”
“Don’t touch me.” She shrugged off his reaching hand, scooped up the dress, which he’d peeled from her shoulders with deliberate eroticism earlier, from the floor. Blanking out the memory, she pulled it on, flimsy protection for her ragged emotions.Did I misread the signals?
“I said I loved you the first time. At Gozo. Why didn’t you stop me then?” Huddled into the armchair beside the bed, she curled her legs under her, closing her eyes briefly to compose herself, steady herself before the next blow.
He swung his feet to the side of the bed until he faced where she curled in the chair. “I let myself believe you said that because of the enormity of the moment. Everything was new for you, and you believed that’s what people say when they make love.” He wasn’t even pretending not to have heard.
“You bastard.”
“Maybe I deserve that,” he muttered, looking patient. Patient—she wanted to kick him where it hurt. “You’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster—anxious—relieved—angry—and aroused in the space of a few days. You’re not very experienced.”
“Are you saying I don’t know what I’m feeling?”
He dropped his hands between his knees and frowned at the floor. “We’re healthy adults attracted to each other. We had a chance to let go of inhibitions, no consequences. Hell, I’m your first lover.”
“‘A first fine careless rapture.’” She mocked his unoriginal excuses.
“It’s too soon to say you’re in love.”
“Don’t tell me what I feel.”How could I have been so wrong?“Putting labels on my feelings won’t change them.”
“I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you,” he apologised stiffly.
“I see two consenting adults here. Don’t patronise me. You’re not an itch I decided to scratch. I have more respect for myself than that. And more respect for you.”
Rising, he turned his back to grab his jeans and drag them up, before facing her again. “Sophie’s flaunting her sexual relationship with Peter, unrepentant, immature, and prepared to throw spiteful words like unlovable at you like hand grenades. Don’t pretend that didn’t hurt, that didn’t increase your vulnerability, your susceptibility to seduction.”
“And you were the only convenient stud!” She exploded off the chair. “Don’t kid yourself. I could have made love at eighteen or at any time since. I could walk downstairs now and probably have my choice of partner. Sex is always on offer.”
“You’re an incredibly desirable woman.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Don’t try and placate me either,” she snarled over her shoulder as she paced her side of the room. “I was tempted to take a lover to prove I could trick Papa, to thumb my nose at his blindness. My personal protest against his ability to look at me and only see my sister.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Apologise for your own crimes, not his. Honesty and integrity aren’t easy to replace.”
“If that’s to my account. I didn’t lie to you. I want you.” He stumbled to a halt. “What we’ve shared is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. You’re breathtaking. I thought saying you loved me was part of the moment.”
“Unbelievable orgasm loosens virgin’s tongue. Naked woman babbles.” She planted fists on her hips to stop herself from waving them at him.
“I’m sorry.” He took a step towards her. “It happens.”
“Not to me.”
“Well, yeah, you don’t want to reopen the conversation where I point out your inexperience.”
She paused mid-stride and came to stand in front of him, meeting his gaze. “You want me to believe that’s what this is all about? You consciously and with deliberate forethought took advantage of me?”
“I care about you, Miranda. More than any woman I know.”
“Not Miranda.” Using his special name for her sharpened the betrayal. “I want the truth. You knew I wouldn’t make love to anyone on a whim.”
“Okay.” He sucked in a breath, raked a hand through his hair, leaving it mussed. More tired and more dispirited than Lela had ever seen him. “I believe you think you love me.” He held up a hand to stop her automatic protest. “That you wouldn’t make love to anyone you don’t care for. But when you kneeled opposite me in that bed last night—soft, generous, and so damn gorgeous—I allowed myself to take. I convinced myself you couldn’t have fallen in love with me. Olivia ...”
“Because you still love your wife?” Old love would be impossible for her to fight.
“Because of the vow I made after she died,” he said carefully.
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