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“Nat hit a racoon with her car.” She plays with my tie, not making eye contact. “The good news is that the racoon is going to be fine… he’s great. Just some damage to one of his legs.”

“Oh, what a relief. I was so worried.” I say sarcastically while rolling my eyes at her. Wrong James, but close.

“Stop it. So… we couldn’t just leave him there to get hit again or to get attacked by another animal.”

“There’s a wild raccoon at our house right now isn’t there?”

She scrunches her nose, sucks her lips in and nods her head. “Just for a little bit. Bandit will be the best boy. We should keep him away from Droolius for a day or two. He was grabbing his tail.”

Outfuckingstanding.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” I fucking love her. “What about rabies? What about our house… do they chew on things? Legend has it that you can actually resist adopting injured or homeless animals. You know that, right?”

Boredom will never be a problem.